Love Through A Photographer's Lens
by kickingpj
Summary: Her third year at uni, Tara decides to live on campus. She finds that her decision may be more than she bargained for when she meets PJ Liguori and falls for him, literally. One drunk encounter at a party and both their worlds are changed, whether that be for the better or worse. OC/KickthePJ. Rated T because drinking and mentioning of things
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1: A Loner, a Camera, and a Saturday Night Party**

(Tara's POV)

"Tara? Tara, how are you?"

"I'm reasonable mom, how are you?"

"Just fine. Your brother has been quite the handful since you left, always pestering me about what we are going to do with your room."

"What _are _you going to do with my room?"

"Oh, nothing, most likely. Leave it as a spare bedroom for when you visit us from University. Speaking of which, how is everything? I know you've been going for years, but it's so different now that you are actually living there. Are the people being nice?"

"Everything is… reasonable."

I heard my mother's tired sigh, even though I knew she was trying to hide it, "Everything is always reasonable with you, Tara."

"I know," I chuckled, "I don't know why you bother asking me anymore."

"Because I worry about you and- what? No you may **NOT**! Put that lizard back outside, Trevor! Trevor! Tara, sweetie, I'm going to have call you back," My mother's voice was high with stress and I almost wished I was there to help her, "I'll call you tomorrow. I love you!"

She hung up before I could respond. I sighed heavily and threw my phone onto my bed, turning back towards the computer that had a half-finished report open. As much as I wanted to continue writing, I couldn't help but think about what my mom had just said. She was right, for years my answer for everything was "reasonable." Reasonable was safe, it didn't need a lot of thought, and it kept people from asking questions.

Not that I was hiding anything to be questioned.

I was a slightly under average 20 year old. Black hair, blue eyes, 5'2"; I suffered from acute depression as a young teenager, but who hadn't? After deciding to get my bachelors in photography at UCA Farnham, I'd spent my first two years of University as a stay at home student. Only this year had I decided to live on campus, surprising not only my mom and brother, but my friends who had sworn I was too attached to Ashford to ever leave.

I'd never been one for making friends. It's not that I was socially awkward, I just enjoyed being alone more than I did being with groups of people. Not to say that I didn't have any friends. I had two, Isabelle and Mark, both of which I had known before I'd moved on campus and were more than excited when they found out I was to be living on campus. I now shared a dorm with Isabelle, who was currently out with her boyfriend, and Mark often hung out with me on weekends because neither of us much enjoyed going out.

So at ten o' clock on a Saturday night, sitting in front of a now black screened computer, I wondered where Mark was and why he wasn't sitting on my bed throwing crisps at me as I tried to focus on the paper I had to finish.

As if on cue, someone began to bang on my front door. "Open up, Tara, we're going out," Mark's voice boomed from the other side of the door. "Out," I asked, as I opened the door, a look of confusion passing over my face. "Yeah, they're throwing a party down the street," he gushed, pushing past me, opening my dresser drawers, and searching through them, "And I am taking you with me." I laughed and sat down on the bed as he threw articles of clothing, "This must be some party. I've never seen you pick out my clothing _for me._" "Yes, well, I know if I don't you'll just throw on some old outfit you always wear, grab your camera, and claim that you're only going because you want to get some shots for some project we both know you don't have."

I blushed some and fingered the camera that had been sitting at the edge of my bed. "You know I don't mind going to parties, Mark," I mumbled, "I'll even wear whatever ridiculous outfit you pick out for me. But **only **if you allow me to bring my camera." Mark looked over his shoulder, a large grin on his face, "Deal."

* * *

A half hour later I'm walking with Mark down the street in a pair of leggings and an oversized, neon green tank top, a shirt I didn't even know I owned. My camera hung around my neck and my hair fell in curls around my face, curls that caused a ten minute argument between Mark and I because I wanted nothing more than to leave it pin straight.

We showed up at a house that was blaring music out of it, people spilling out onto the porch and front yard. The smell of alcohol, weed, and sweat clung to the air and I could feel the adrenaline coursing through my veins. It'd been months since my last party and I had almost forgotten how much I loved it.

I raised the camera to my eye, focusing on a drunk couple who were straddling each other in the front yard and laughing. I'd just captured the picture when I felt Mark grab me by the wrist and rip the camera away from my face. "_Come on, _Tara, we aren't even inside yet!" He yelled, pulling me up the steps.

The house was even more insane, there were people everywhere holding plastic cups and glass bottles of beer. The air was even heavier here and I could barely hear anything over the sound of the music. After a few minutes Mark disappeared from my side and I was left alone, my camera my only companion.

I walked around for a while, snapping pictures here and there that I found interesting. A boy dancing with a clown statue on top of a pool table, a girl chocking after taking too large a hit, a close up on a senior's face, a boy I sat next to every once in a while during my English class, as he danced. Sometime during all of that I ended up with a cup in my hand, the sweet liquid making my face contort and my eyes water whenever I took a drink.

After two cups of the overly sweet liquor and a beer I was feeling pleasant and I knew my photos would start coming out blurry. I stumbled into a room where the music wasn't as loud and the air was cooler. In the center of the room a group of students were sitting and laughing as a boy, who's back was faced towards me, flapped like a chicken and made the strangest sound I've ever hear.

'_I have to get a shot of this,' _my brained chirped and I raised the camera to my eye, steadying it best I could. Just as the boy turned around and looked over at me, still making that noise and his eyes full of excitement, I snapped the picture.

Then I gasped, because I realized who I'd taken a picture of. The Youtube sensation who happened to also be attending UCA: PJ Liguori.

* * *

**Well here it is guys, my first ever fanfiction (that I've posted on this site).**

**I'm actually fairly proud of it, which is something of an accomplishment for me because I tend to be my worst critic of all.**

**I'm to be graduating in about a month, so I am going to try to update every day, but I am going to apologize if I don't. Once I graduate, though, I will have nothign for three whole months (Wooo!) so I'll be updating a whole lot more!**

**I hope you enjoy my fanfiction! This is one of the few fics that I have found that is about PJ (my favorite youtuber), so I am hoping it is a least a little bit different than anything else you've read. Please read & review! Critiques are more than welcome!**

**Oh, and here's my disclamer on PJ because I don't want him having to relive everything I write(;**

**-Boots**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: The Craziest Party of the Year**

(PJ's POV)

I like parties.

I like being with friends. I like the drinks. I like the music. I like the people rushing about. I like being able to act however I want and not get judged.

I think that last one's my favorite.

This party in particular was crazy, the craziest we'd had all year. There were people everywhere: the front yard, the back yard, the roof. I was surprised I managed to find an empty room for my friends and I to hang out in, slightly away from all the noise and dancing and couples. For a while we just sat around sipping on cool drinks and talking amongst ourselves. Then someone I didn't know found us lounging around the room and asked if he and his friends could hang out with us. After an hour of uncomfortable silence, our own groups talking amongst themselves, someone offered up the idea of playing truth-or-dare as a way to get everyone to know each other

All around me people were laughing, everyone drunk to at least some degree. Some girl I think I have design class with was relaying a story about the first time she'd snuck out and ended up getting caught after climbing back into her parents window by mistake.

I laughed casually; I hadn't really been listening. The alcohol pumping through my veins made it hard to concentrate. I missed this.

Not to say that I do, or did, drink all of the time; the exact opposite was true. I just enjoyed the feeling it gave me. Like all my normal qualities were amplified. I was random, funny, and told ridiculous stories that popped into my head.

Yep, basically the same as when I'm sober.

Only now I had a little bit less control of what I said and did.

I shook my head slightly, trying to focus back on the task at hand. I look around the room to see that all eyes were on me, waiting patiently. I looked back, confused.

"I'm sorry, did you say something?" I tried; my friend sitting next to me snickered. "Yes, PJ," A boy I don't think I ever met responded, "Truth or dare?"

"Oh," I laughed foolishly, running a hand through my unruly hair, "Dare, obviously." "Oh, good," he let out a breath I don't think any of us knew he was holding, "I thought we'd have to sit through another boring story." "Hey," the girl from design whined. 'Boring? He's never heard one of my stories,' I thought, smirking.

"Alright," the boy started, looking up thoughtfully, "I dare you to... to do your most outrageous chicken impression." The circle of people, including me, burst out laughing. "That's the best you got," I teased, standing up and bending my arms to look like chicken wings.

Then I began howling, some odd cross between a dying cat and a chicken, making the people around me fall back, their faces red in laughter.

I began to spin and just as I had made a full 180 degree turn, I locked eyes with a camera and a picture was snapped. Then the camera dropped and the girl's face was revealed, a look of shock on it. I gave her a small smile and kept spinning till I was facing the rest of the group and sat down.

Turning around I saw the girl still standing there, about 4 feet away. Raven black hair, blue eyes; she was familiar. _'Is she in my design class,'_ I wondered._ 'Or maybe my visual arts?'_ I pushed the thought out of my head, focusing again on the girl. She seemed dumb founded, as if she was trying to figure out what to do. I opened my mouth to invite her to the game when the door burst open and a couple almost fell in, knocking the girl over.

She squeaked as she fell and landed in my lap, her drink sloshing up and covering her shirt, barely missing me. The couple broke apart and looked around the room and then at us. "Oops," the girl feigned concern as the couple left, looking for an empty room.

I looked back at the group who was now staring at the unknown, and now soaked, girl. She was staring at her camera, her face twisted into a look of sheer horror. "**OH NO!** I hope it didn't get damaged!" She flew up and began looking her camera over.

"Yeah, I'm totally fine," I joked, regretting it slightly when she looked at me with wide, scared eyes.

"I'm so sorry," she gasped, "It was an accident."

"It's no big deal," I tried, standing up, realizing she was a considerable amount shorter than me, "Here, let me help, I know how expensive cameras are."

I grabbed her arm and lead her out of the room and to the nearest bathroom.

* * *

**Alright guys, here it is. I meant to upload this yesterday, but my parents wouldn't let me use the computer. **

**I am actually incredibly enthusiastic to find out that I already have a review and a few followers after posting the first chapter! I hope you come to love the chapters to come!**

**I plan on keeping all of the chapters relatively long, I try to be a very detailed writer.**

**If you have any advice or ideas please feel free to leave me a review or PM me! I love an outsiders perspective and sometimes I do get stuck with what I should do next in a story and it is always nice to have some to bounce ideas off of! **

**Here is the part where I claim that I DO NOT own PJ Liguori or any of the wonderful things he's done or stories he's told!**

**-Boots**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: Thank You**

(Tara's POV)

Stupid drunk couple. That girl didn't even pretend to care that she practically threw her boyfriend onto me, causing me to fall and spill my drink all over me, my camera, and PJ.

PJ had offered to help me, practically dragged me into the bathroom before he began to wipe down the camera with a dry rag.

PJ Liguroi. Youtube sensation. He wasn't much of a sensation at UCA, but with the amount of talent we pump out, it wasn't much of a surprise. Isabelle had shown me a couple videos, told me he was a residing student with a ton of talent. After that I did a little digging, read the comments on the videos she'd sent me, searched his tag on tumblr, and googled him. Girls across the board adored him; I felt almost uncomfortable knowing I was going to the same school as a Youtuber that thousands of girls on the internet fawned over. Besides what I learned from the internet, though, I didn't know much about Mr. Liguori. I'd never had a class with him, never seen him around campus, and if it hadn't been for Isabelle, the boy now wiping down my camera would be a complete stranger to me.

I looked over at him, he was sporting a thousand mile stare as he continuously rubbed down my camera. If it had been wet before, there was no way it was now. As I grabbed the camera carefully out of his hands, he snapped his attention back to me, smirking some. "Thank you for the help, really, but I think more of my drink got on you than my camera." A small smile lit up his face and he chuckled. "Actually, most of it got on you," he looked down and I followed his gaze to the giant stain that covered a good portion of my oversized tanktop.

_'How did I not notice that?'_ I thought, completely bewildered. _'It must be the alcohol.'_

I groaned and leaned against the counter, "Wonderful. Might as well just go home now. I have nothing to change into."

"Oh," he mused before I heard a light shuffling beside me, "Here."

I looked up to see him holding out his jumper, now wearing only a white button down. "Oh no, I couldn't," I began, putting my hands up and shaking my head.

"I insist."

"You really don't have to."

"I don't **have** to do anything. I **want** to do this," he persisted, putting the jumper in my hands. His smile was so genuine, so sincere, I felt almost as if I **couldn't **say no. I gave him a soft thanks, before looking from the jumper to him awkwardly. There was a moment of silence as he smiled at me before he realized he needed to get out for me to change.

After changing out of the alcohol stained tanktop and putting on the warm jumper and my camera, I took a long look at myself in the mirror. It was white and tan and had the strangest pattern on it. Far too big for me, I felt like a child was standing in front of the mirror, rather than a full grown adult. I hung the wet shirt on the towel rack, knowing full well I'd forget it, but not caring much because I'd never wear it again anyways.

Stepping out of the bathroom, I saw PJ a few feet away, his back to me as he talked to someone I couldn't see. I walked up quietly and tapped him on the shoulder.

He turned around, his face beeming as he looked down at me. "Ah, there we are. Good as new." He had a new drink in his hand and as he spoke, his breath smelled of it. Guess the party wasn't over for him.

"Would you like a drink?" He asked, gesturing to the cup. I smiled, but politely declined, "Thanks, but I really should find my friend Mark and get home."

"Mark?"

"He brought me to the party. I lost him a while ago and I really should get him to his dorm before it gets to late. What time is it, anyways?"

"Around 1:30."

_**"One thirty!?" **_I squealed, the blood draining from my face, "I really need to get home! I have a paper I must finish tomorrow!"

"How far away is your dorm, I could drive you," he tried as he followed me through the house. "Oh no, I only live a couple blocks away," I argued, realizing there was no way I would find Mark in this crowd, if he was even still here, and I made my way to the front door, "and in your current condition, there's no way."

"Then I'll walk you," he pursued, stumbling a little. "Why are you being so persistent?" I asked, a tad bit harsher than I intended it to be.

He snickered, "I have to make sure my jumper makes it back to your place in one piece. It is my_ favorite_."

Once outside, I stopped and looked at him. He had a goofy smile on his face and was look down at me with expectant eyes; he reminded me of a child begging their mother to buy them candy. "Fine," I agreed, a smile on my face. "But you better keep up."

The walk back to my dorm was comfortably silent. As we walked side-by-side I gave PJ a sideways glance. He was looking straight forward, a slight smile on his face, but the thousand mile stare was in his eyes again.

"What're you thinking about," I tried. "The probability of a penguin being able to do a backflip," his tone was so casual, I almost thought I'd misheard what he said. "Well, I doubt it's very high," I laughed, glancing at him again.

"You've never met _my_ penguin," he responded, smiling as if he just told a joke. I stopped as we finally reached my dorm room.

"Thank you," I began, stepping up to the door and turning to face him. "Don't mention it, one can only guess where that jumper would have ended up if I hadn't walked it home," he teased, his eyes lighting up as he grabbed something out of his pocket, "Here, give me your number and I'll call you tomorrow so we can meet up and I can get my jumper back."

I took the phone from him and put my name and number in, before handing it back. He looked at the entry and then back up at me, "Tara is it? Well have a lovely night and good luck with that paper!"

I nodded and told him good night before entering my dorm. The quiet walk home had slowed my heart rate and I could no longer feel the adernaline racing through my veins. Exhaustion finally caught up to me and I collapsed onto my bed, falling asleep without another thought.

* * *

**Ahhhhh, we are finally through the first night. Sorry it took three chapters, but introductions are most important! Things may not be as fast as a normal fanfiction, but I can promise that one day won't take up so much time as this day did (unless, of course, something incredibly dramatic happens;D)**

**If your at all confused about why I titled this chapter 'Thank You,' it's simply because the OC says it at least 3 times in this chapter and I found it a bit humorous! XD**

**I want to say that I have gotten into the pattern for uploading chapters, but these next few may be scattered. I have so many ideas in my head that I need to make sure I write this the EXACT way I want it to go!**

**I hope everyone is enjoying my story so far, if you have any suggestions, or just want to get to know me, send a review or a PM! I love to make new ****friends!**

**Oh, and guys, I don't own PJ or his quirky smile. Just thought you all should know!**

**-Boots**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: A Whole Lot of Sweet Potatoes**

(Tara's POV)

He didn't call the next day. Or the day after. Or any day at all, really.

It's not like I was really waiting for a call, I just felt awkward holding onto a jumper that was three sizes too big for me. And, if I could find the courage to admit it to myself, I did find him kind of attractive.

The morning after the party, Isabelle had woken me up with too much enthusiasm for my hung-over brain. "Where'd you get the jumper," she'd asked too loudly, making me cringe. "A kid I met at the party last night." "Ooooh," she bubbled, plopping down on my bed. "What's his name? Why'd he give it to you? Did you guys do something you shouldn't have?" "I don't remember, all your yelling is hurting my head," I grumbled, wanting nothing more than to go back to bed, "And no, someone spilled their drink on me so he let me change into his jumper."

"Oh," she huffed with disinterest, hopping off my bed and leaving me alone for the rest of the day.

I had washed the jumper the day after; it seemed like the courteous thing to do since he let me wear it. I'd left it on my bed, so that I'd know exactly where it was if he called, but after the fourth day with no contact I simply set it in my dresser with the rest of my shirts.

I'd almost completely forgotten about the jumper, and the night that went along with it until Monday, two weeks later, when there was a knock on the door.

Turning around from my spot at the computer, I looked at Isabelle. "You expecting someone," she questioned. I shook my head, "You?" "No."

I shrugged and walked over to the door. Opening it, I was faced with the curly haired boy I'd met a couple weeks ago. "Oh, hey," I greeted, opening the door wider, "Why didn't you call?"

He stepped in, an apologetic look on his face as I turned and went to my dresser. "Well, actually, I lost my phone the night of the party."

Just then Isabelle gasped and I whirled around quickly, frightened. "**PJ Liguori**," she squealed, looking up at me with wide eyes.

"Do I know you," he asked, looking incredibly uncomfortable. She looked over at him and smiled, "Oh no, I just watch your videos."

"Well... that's not creepy," He responded sarcastically. Isabelle acted as if the insult were never said, her face as bright and bewildered as I've ever seen it. PJ shifted awkwardly and looked back over at me, his eyes asking me to elaborate. I shrugged, just as confused as he was and handed the jumper over.

"I'm really sorry about not calling you," he began, trying not to let the staring Isabelle bother him. "Don't worry about it," I smiled, "Accidents happen all the time." "I know, but it's so unlike me," he pursued. "I would have come sooner, but I'd forgotten which dorm was your's. I didn't want to look like an idiot knocking on every door in the dorm looking for a girl I met at a party . Finally I did because I really needed this jumper." He was joking at the end, his eyes shining and his voice dripping with sarcasm. From the bed, Isabelle giggled like an excited twelve year old. I raised an eyebrow, _'Seriously, what is up with her?_'

"In all seriousness, though, I want to make it up to you," he finished, giving me a sincere smile, "I was wondering if you'd like to come thrifting with me."

"Yes, yes she would," Isabelle blurted out. We both looked over at her, an unsettling silence falling over us. "What," she whined, seeming oblivious to how unnecessary her outburst was.

I looked back over at PJ slowly. "Well," I began, unsure of what to do, "I should finish up my project."

"You could bring your camera," he tried, biting his lip in anticipation.

"Deal," I agreed almost too hastily. When my camera was involved, I found it impossible to refuse.

"Wonderful," he cried joyfully, standing upright and clasping his hands together, "Let us be on our way, then."

I closed my laptop and grabbed my camera, hanging it around my neck. "I'll see you later, Belle," I called as PJ and I left the dorm room.

"Have fun, you two," she sang as I shut the door.

Once we were outside and making our way out to the thrift shop, PJ began talking. "So Isabelle-"

"I have no idea."

"Fan girl."

"What?"

"She's a fan girl."

"Isabelle," I sputtered, flabbergasted, "No, of course not... I mean. She couldn't be." "Oh no, she definitely is," he concluded, laughing, "Trust me, I've met more than enough to know the signs." "And what signs might those be?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. "Over excited, obnoxiously loud, giggling like a little girl," he listed, making me think back to Isabelle's completely out of character behavior. "Yes, that definitely sounds like what just happened," I agreed, "That just seems so unlike her. I mean, she's a pretty excitable person, but she's never been that excited before.

"We all have our secrets," he mused with an odd tone in his voice. _'That was.. weird,'_ I though, shrugging it off after a moment.

"Ever been to Barnardo's before," PJ's voice interrupted my thoughts

I nod, "Yeah, I worked here when I was a freshman, but I quit because I found a job closer to home that paid more." PJ looked at me with surprise as he opened the door to the thrift store, "You didn't live on campus freshman year?" "Or sophomore," I added, nodding. "I decided to move on campus this year partly to prove to myself, and my family, that I could and partly because the money I spent driving to and from college began to take a toll on my mother's budget."

"I thought you said you got a better paying job, closer to home?" PJ retorted, pulling a pair tan skinny jeans off the rack and looking at them. "Yes, well, my mom insisted I use the money make to buy things I wanted, like clothing and tea," I explained, looking through a pile of baseball tee's, "But if I'm being completely honest, half my income went to gas, anyways." "That's sweet of you," PJ glanced at me with a half-smile that made something in my chest stir, making me hastily avert my eyes and focus on the pale yellow shirt now in my hands.

* * *

After an hour of random thrifting PJ left with three new jumpers, the pair of tan skinny jeans he had been looking at, and a grey hoodie, while I managed to get black and white striped cardigan, an abstractly patterned jumper that PJ talked me into buy, and a couple of random photos that made the other customers give me odd looks.

Exiting the store, PJ stopped for a second before throwing his hand up to his head, "Oh darn it, I need to stop at the market." "Why," I asked, confused. "I'm having a barbeque with some mates tonight." "You forgot about a barbeque you're having," I raised an eyebrow in disbelief. "Oh no, I didn't forget about the barbeque" he clarified, "I forgot I had to pick up some sweet potatoes."

"Oh," I sighed, biting my lip, "Well, I wouldn't mind stopping at the market with you before I go back to my dorm." PJ gave me a bewidered look before shaking his head and chuckling, "Back to your dorm? No, I do believe you will be making an appearance at my barbeque." I scrunched my eyebrows together. "Making an appearance," I questioned, "What am I, a celebrity?" "Close enough," he agreed, "You're the girl who managed to take one of my jumpers. My friends are still arguing over how you managed it."

I laughed anxiously, I managed to take one of his jumpers? I didn't even know that was an accomplishment. Were jumpers even that big of a deal to him? _'I guess I'll just have to ask Isabelle later,'_ I shuddered at how disturbing I found the thought of Isabelle knowing the extent PJ's jumper love.

"Well, we best be off, then," PJ concluded, heading off down the road, making me jog to catch up.

* * *

At the market, we hurried to the produce section, PJ instantly grabbing a bag and filling it almost completely with sweet potatoes. "Whoa there," I teased, eyeing the bag comically, "Are you trying to appease the sweet potato gods?" He laughed loudly, the lady a little ways off huffed and grumbled under her breath about how teenagers always ruined her peace of mind.

You're right," PJ continued, ignoring the older woman, "We might have to get a couple more just in case!"

The walk to PJ's apartment was obnoxiously loud. He told me random jokes that brought tears to my eyes and we discussed the finer points of Majora's Mask, which was currently collecting dust on my shelf because Isabelle hid my Nintendo 64 after I stayed up for 48 straight hours trying to beat the game. He told me about his job; "professional storyteller" he called it, making me roll my eyes, and I told him about my dreams of becoming a photojournalist who did freelance work on the side.

"Interesting," he'd mused, looking at me with curious eyes, "Would you say you're pretty good with photo editing?" "Fairly good," I agreed. "Interesting," he repeated, saying nothing else on the subject.

PJ's apartment was fairly sized and the desks and shelves were filled with objects and games of all sort, making me gasp, "You weren't kidding when you said you were a game collector!" He chuckled at me as I studied his game like a seven year old, "And you weren't kidding when you said you enjoyed video games." "I have a brother who's three years younger than me," I explained, tearing myself away from the old games and following him into the kitchen, "I've been playing video games longer than I've been taking photographs."

"Well, we'll probably end up playing some later after the barbeque if you plan on sticking around," he offered as he began to rinse and cut the sweet potatoes.

The barbeque was... reasonable. I was awkward at first, only semi-recognizing some of the people. I'd realized just how secluded I was once everyone had arrived and food was being eaten. I kept by PJ's side for the entirety of the gathering, trying to make conversation with as many of his friends as possible. I may not have known them all that well, but getting to know new people never really bothered me. After the barbeque was over and a large majority of his mates had left, we dragged the Nintendo out and played Donkey Kong till 11. At 11:30 I told him I was going to have Isabelle come pick me up and take me back to my dorm; I had class early the next day and I needed to get at least a few hours of sleep.

"Why don't you stop by on Friday and we can play some more video games?" he invited, opening the front door for me, "I haven't played Ocarina of Time in a while and it is just begging to be beaten." "Sounds like a plan," I agreed, "When do you plan on getting a new phone?" "Wednesday at the latest," he responded, leaning against his door frame, "Want my number now?" "That'd be helpful, in case I have to cancel," I nodded, handing him my phone. He handed it back after putting his number, saying good night and waiting till I was in the car to close the door.

As soon as we were driving away Isabelle was bubbling with questions, "How was it? What's he like in real life? Did he talk about his stories? Was he-" "Belle, slow down, please," I begged, looking at her with wide eyes, "I had no idea you were such a fan girl!" "Yeah... Well, it's one of those things I keep behind closed doors," she sighed, calming down. "I live behind those doors you keep closed," I exclaimed, "Does your boyfriend know?" She glanced at me with an incredulous look, "Are you kidding? Have you met my boyfriend? He'd drop me like yesterday's news if he knew I acted like that. You wouldn't even have known if I hadn't found out you were dating my favorite Youtuber."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," I backtracked, staring at her in disbelief, "I am not dating PJ. He's just a cool guy I've made friends with." "Right," Isabelle purred, pulling into the dorm parking lot, "Just keep telling yourself that. But when you're macking him in a couple weeks, don't say I didn't call it."

I just shook my head at her, knowing I wouldn't win if I argued it, "I still can't believe you're a fan girl."

"We all have our secrets, Tara," she mumbled. I blinked at her; PJ had said the same thing, not twelve hours earlier. "Yes, we all do," I agreed, getting out of the car and following Isabelle into our dorm.

* * *

**Chapter foooooour!**

**Hope I didn't keep you all waiting too long(; If I did, please take the fact that it is twice as long as any other chapter as my sincerest apology. I've been busy with exams and meeting deadlines. Well, that, and I was having serious issues with trying to figure out how I should move the plot along.**

**I would like to thank my best friend settingdanonfire for helping me with this chapter. I don't know why you say you won't be on much use; if it weren't for you this chapter would have been ten times worse.**

**I'd also like to mention that I got the barbeque idea from this video: /watch?v=GLjJbRRlTjg . But if you are subbed to PJ's PJtheKick channel you probably would have figured that out. So here is me crediting that and not saying it was original idea, because it totally wasn't; it just fit really well with the fic.**

**I KNOW, I KNOW I changed sweater to jumper in this chapter. I just realized how incredibly AMERICAN I was being by not saying jumper. I'm sorry it didn't hit me till this chapter.**

**Hope you all enjoyed this and, again, I apologize for it being so late.**

**PJ isn't mine guys, he isn't.**

**-Boots**

**Edit: I changed 'sweater' to 'jumper' in the other chapter just because it bothered me so much.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5: The Friendship Begins**

(PJ's POV)

The days leading up to the weekend could not have passed any slower. I'd been assigned a new project in my video editing class, missed my visual effects class because my alarm didn't go off, and needed to make a new video for my cinematic storytelling class (which, in all honestly, would feel more like an activity than an obligation).

Besides the assignments, my mates seemed to have me running all over town with them; picking up new props and equipment for assignments and projects they had. It's not like I didn't like helping them, anytime one of them asked I was more than happy to lend a hand, it just seemed like it was happening more this week than it had in months.

Friday, after an hour and a half of listening to my cinema systems professor discuss the finer points of them new HD equipment we would be studying, I headed across campus with several thoughts swirling through my head. _'I should use the new editing program I just downloaded on my next project. Maybe I'll call Chris, I haven't spoken to him in a while and he is always good with expanding ideas I have. Should I upload the video I have to do for cinematic storytelling as my next Youtube video? No, I already have half a video recorded and it would be a waste to not use. I'll just finish recording it tonight, edit it this weekend, and upload it on Monday."_

Back at the house I called to my roommate that I would be recording in my room for the next few hours. Jamie grunted in reply; it was a normal occurrence around our house, but I still warned him because he'd walked in on me recording a couple times and it's awkward to say the least. Though, after talking to a camera for several hours can make anyone look like a lunatic.

I'd been recording for no more than 2 hours when there was a commotion in the living room. I ignored it, Jamie tended to be loud the later at night it got, and since my camera was set up to miss background noise under a certain volume, it wasn't something to worry about.

I began to speak again and not a minute later there was a knock at my door. I sighed and paused the camera, "Yeah?" I called as I went over and opened the door, looking at Jamie, "Tara's here," he responded, quirking an eyebrow, "Says you invited her over."

_'What is he-' _I wondered before it clicked and I smacked myself on the head, _'How could I have forgotten I'd invited her over today?' _"Yeah, of course," I managed, trying to act nonchalant, but Jamie could tell I had forgotten just by the way I'd reacted, "Thanks mate."

I walked out to the sitting room and saw Tara leaned over a side table, her face looking concentrated as she snapped a picture. "Do you like to take pictures of knick-knacks," I inquired, making her stand upright and look at me. "Oh, uh, I just got a new lens for my camera," she explained, blushing slightly at the sudden interruption, "And I like to take pictures of things people consider small and pointless. They say life is about the little things, right?"

I beamed at her; her simplistic beauty never ceased to amaze me. "You should put your photography in a gallery and call the exhibit a 'The Little Things in Life' or something," I mused, taking her back to my room. "That'd certainly be nice," she mumbled quietly, stopping in my door way for a few moments, looking around, "Do you always leave your equipment set up in your room?"

I laughed, "No, I was just recording a video." I picked up the tripod and lighting equipment and set it in my closet before turning back to her. She was perched comfortably at the end of my low bed. "You're the only person I know that doesn't have to sit back to be comfortable on my bed," I joked, taking a seat next to her. She shrugged, pick at frayed ends on my duvet, "I know, I know, I'm short. But it doesn't help that you're like a giant!" She smiled over at me, but the smile didn't quite reach her eyes. "Six two is not a giant," I shot back playfully, but she still looked a little distracted, "Well, hey, if you want to play video games we need to go out to the sitting room because I don't have a TV in here."

She nodded and stood up, holding her hand out for me. Accepting it I pulled myself up and we made our way back to the sitting room where I set up Ocarina of Time and handed her the controller. "Did you end up finding your Nintendo?" "No, Isabelle still won't tell me," she grumbled, "She's been watching your videos a whole lot more, too, now that she knows we're friends."

"Lovely," I responded sarcastically, "Do you watch them with her?" "Not often, but I did know who you were before we met," she admitted, blush tinting her cheeks, "She'd shown me a couple videos a few months back, so I did a bit of research on you on Tumblr. You're fairly popular among teenage girls. You're also not nearly as excitable in real life as you are on camera."

"It's a character choice, mostly," I explained, taking the remote from her when she died, "It's me, obviously, just a crazier version of me. The person I'd like to be known for, not some odd curly haired kid who likes to tell weird stories."

"I like the PJ I know," she responded with a small smile, "You've been incredibly kind to me and we hardly even know each other. You're a good person, PJ."

I bit my lip for a moment. "You don't know me well enough," I semi-joked, making her laugh lightly.

We went on this way for a while, taking turns every time one of us died. When Jamie entered the room at 7:30 we were both lounging across the couch, her legs overtop mine. He raised his eyebrow at me, but he didn't say anything.

He didn't need to; his eyes said it all.

I shook my head and he snorted some before turning to Tara and asking her if she were staying for dinner. She paused the game and looked up at him, "If it isn't an inconvenience," she answered, smiling. "Not at all," he smiled back and headed into the kitchen.

She shifted some then, taking her legs off of mine. I glanced at her and a look of discomfort seemed stuck on her face. "Everything ok," I asked, sitting up. "Huh, oh yeah," she mumbled, grabbing the controller and resuming the game. She relaxed back on the couch, folding her legs under her and making a joke a few moments later about how ridiculous the expression Link made were.

I stared at her for a moment longer. Something about what had just happened with Jamie changed her composure, but what?

* * *

**Wooo, posted a chapter on time!**

**Alright, I know it seems like a filler chapter, but it ends with a good hook, so please don't hurt me!(;**

**In all actuality it isn't a filler chapter. I really like the idea of putting them into a close friendship before making them date. Going for the whole 'everyone else thinks you're dating, so why aren't you?' angle. To me it seems more realistic than just throwing them into a relationship after a few days of knowing each other.**

**Also, I realize that PJ is a lot more mellow in this fic than he is in his videos and I tried to explain that in this chapter, but I would like to add a quick note. RPF is really, really hard to do, especially when you're using a person who let's out so little about who they are.**

**I'm actually playing a Link into the Past right now. What you thought I was going to make my character love video games without knowing anything about them?! Impossible! PJ's love of video games is one of the main reasons he is my favorite Youtuber. **

**So here's a question for all the lovely viewers and followers of the fic, do you play any video games? If so which ones? Just leave a review telling me! I'd love to know who else on this website is an avid gamer!**

**You can't really own people anymore, because slaverly is illegal, so PJ isn't mine.**

**-Boots**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6: Overthinking**

(Tara's POV)

After waving a happy goodbye to PJ, I slipped into my dorm room and rested my weight against the door. I slowly slid down it until my knees touched my chest and my head head buried into my hands.

"Hey Tara, are you here? How was-" she stopped abruptly upon seeing me, "Tara, what happened?"

"Hmm?" I asked, looking up at her a little dazed, "Oh, nothing. I actually had a really wonderful time. PJ is such an incredible person, truly. Never met someone quite like him. He's really clever and quite good at keeping a conversation alive. It's just-"

"Oh no, Tara," she interrupted, grabbing my arm and pulling me onto her bed, "You're not doing this again. Not again. Every single time you start to get close to someone you second guess it."

"But Belle," I tried, to no avail as she began rambling on right where she left off, "There's nothing wrong with PJ, absolutely nothing. You've only hung out with him TWO times; unless you count the night you met him, then I suppose it's three. The few times I've seen you two together you were bonding so well, you had a genuine smile on your face! Do you know how long it has been since I saw someone new make you smile like that?

"And now you're overthinking; wondering whether or not he's really worth it. I've heard all the excuses before, Tara, but I won't let you do it this time. Not this time." She ended by putting her hand on top of mine, eyes frantic.

"I'm ninety percent sure you are only saying this because his videos are your dirty little secret," I whispered in response.

Something venomous flashed in her eyes, but before she had a chance to respond there was a loud banging on the door. It swung open and Mark bounded in, a large smile on his face, "There's my lovely ladies! How are my- oh, what's wrong?"

"Mark, thank God you're here," Isabelle sighed, standing up and shoving him down next to me, "Tara's overthinking again, I need you to talk some sense into her."

"Alright then," he agreed, his goofy smirk replaced by a comforting smile, "What seems to be the problem?"

"Well," I began, taking a deep breath, "It's PJ-"

"The bloke from the party?" He questioned, raising an eyebrow,  
"I didn't even know you saw him after that night."

"Yes," I grumbled impatiently, continuing on with the story, "Anyways, I've hung out with him a couple times and he seems really nice and he's really quite funny, but... I don't know. I feel like I'm entering his life at the wrong time. He's already established on Youtube and he's got a close group of friends and.. well, if I'd met him a few years earlier it'd be different, but now..."  
I trailed off, chancing a small glance at Mark, who was looking back incredulously.

"Blimey, Tara, you've only known him a few weeks. You can't really judge whether or not you fit into his life after just a few dates," he tried, rubbing my back affectionately.

"They are **not** dates," I snapped, turning away from him. "Ok, ok, they aren't dates," he apologized, "But none the less, you haven't given it an appropriate amount time to decide."

"But Mark-" I protested. "No buts, Tara," Mark argued, "You're really good with new people and just as well in crowds; you just never give them a chance to prove they want you around. lsabelle and I are always worried that you'll never get over your commitment issues. Please, please just give it a few more weeks before you make your final call."

I bit my lip and looked from Mark's concerned face to Isabelle's compassionate one.

I took a deep breath and nodded, "Fine. I'll give it a few more weeks."

Mark sighed in relief and Isabelle threw her arms around me in a tight hug. "That's my girl," she whispered in my ear before jumping up with a yipe, "Oh shoot, Thomas is here! I'll see you kids later."

She skipped out of the room, blowing us a quick kiss. After a couple of minutes of distracted silence I turned to Mark who'd been playing a game on his phone.

"So... I think I might now where Belle hid my 64," I hinted. Mark was on his feet in a second, holding out his hand to help me up, "Let's do it."

* * *

**Well I'll admit, I didn't think I'd have this chapter done by this week. I've got a musical I'm performing in, in less than a week so trying to focus on this plot and 'The Wizard of Oz' at the same time is rather hard.**

**But suddenly in the middle of rehearsal I had the strongest urge to start writing, so I now have the makings of two other chapter!**

**I tried to edit this the best I could, considering it's nearly midnight and I only slept three hour last night**.

**Why did I stay up so late, you ask? I've officially started watching Doctor Who! Yes, yes, it was a long awaited journey, but I finally took the first step (thanks to Dan's new video. I'll admit, the point of that video was probably to tell me to do the exact opposite and not get involved in yet another fandom, but I like to live life on the edge.)**

**Do I have any Whovian readers on here? If so, who's your favorite Doctor? Leave your answer in the reviews along with anything else you'd like to say about the story (or anything in general).**

**Sorry for such a short chapter, I am going to try and make the next one longer, but no promises.**

**-Boots**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7: Roommate Hating Gnomes**

(PJ's POV)

"I don't know, mate," I told Jaime before taking a hot sip of tea, "She just kind of freaked out after you told her it wouldn't be a problem if she stayed for dinner."

"Maybe," he began, his eyes bright, "She's possessed by a spirit who hates being invited to dinner." "Or maybe she has a gnome in her head that doesn't like annoying, dinner making roommates," I replied sarcastically, letting out a soft chuckle.

Jamie laughed too before adding, "I like my theory better." I was about to make a witty response when my phone began to vibrate in my pocket. I pulled it out and checked the caller I.D., perking up a bit. "It's Tara," I grinned. "Well go then," he shooed me, opening his laptop, "Don't want to keep your girlfriend waiting."

I shot him a look before getting up and heading for my room. Clicking the answer button, I fell back on my bed and put the phone to my ear.

"Hey, Tara," I started, stretching out. "PJ, hi," came her enthusiastic reply, "I hope I didn't interrupt anything." "'Course not, what's on your mind?"

"I was just..." She paused.

"Yeah?"

"Calling to apologize about how I acted the other day-"

"Oh, hey, don't worry about it."

"-And... Well.. I was wondering if you might like to, uhmm, model for me this Thursday?"

"Oh," I beamed, a bit surprised, "Of course I would!" The line was silent for a while and I checked my screen to make sure she hadn't hung up. "Good," she finally answered, "It's for a project I have in my Digital Photography class. And I really mean it this time; it's not just some excuse to use my camera. And maybe we could grab a bit of lunch afterwards?"

"Sounds wonderful!" I concluded, sitting up. "I'll see you Thursday?"

"See you Thursday," she confirmed; I could almost hear her smile. "Bye."

I hung up then and laid in bed for a while, staring up at the ceiling.

_'She's peculiar,'_ I decided, getting up and walking over to my computer. Turning on the desktop, a half edited video loaded up onto the screen.

As I began editing again I continued my thought,_ 'One minute she's having the time of her life, killing Skulltula's with me, the next she's quiet and zoned out and completely uncomfortable. Maybe it was something I did, not Jamie. Maybe I'm forcing her into a friendship she doesn't want. If that were the case, though, why did she invite me out this Thursday?'_

I went on like this for an hour, finally finishing my video and uploading it to Youtube. _'Now I just have to do that project for Cinematic Storytelling,'_ I sighed to myself, leaning back in my chair.

I traveled out into the sitting room a few minutes later and grabbing my now cold tea. Heading into the kitchen, I rinsed out the cup and began making myself a new cup.

"Must have been a really intense conversation, you were gone for quite a while," Jamie called from the sitting room. I leaned out the door frame and saw him in the exact same spot I left him in, looking up at me from his laptop.

"Actually I only spent a few minutes on the phone with her," I explained, going back to my tea, "The rest was spent editing my Youtube video. She just wanted to see if I'd help her with a project this Thursday."

"Oh, you got yourself a hot date, then," he teased and I rolled my eyes. I walked in a few minutes later with a steaming cup of tea and curled up in my favorite corner of the couch.

"Are you deaf," I finally answered, laughing some, "Tara and I aren't dating. She's a friend." I took a sip of my tea and winced at the overwhelming heat.

"Call it what you like, mate," he mumbled, "I've never seen you pay this much attention to a girl in a very long time."

"Suppose I finally found a girl interesting enough to pay attention to," I explained, lounging back on the couch, a comfortable smile on my face.

* * *

**What's this? The third day in a row that I have updated? What is this sorcery?**

**I apologize now for this being a filler chapter chapter and for it being short. Or at least what I see as a filler chapter. But can't we all just get a little excited over the friendships that I have further elaborated on for both characters?**

**I'd like to point out that I still have a ways to go before I actually write them into a relationship, so if you were expecting one within the next few chapters than I am sorry to disappoint.**

**So how does everyone think I am doing for my first fanfiction? Judging by my visitors I have readers from all over the world and you honestly have no idea how ecstatic that makes me!**

**So do you guys have any criticism? How do you feel about the relationship between PJ and Tara? If you haven't noticed I have been trying to avoid all the cliches of fanfiction (girl has major self esteem or social problems, they meet at a typical spot like a coffee shop, such things like that). Does that make it better? Worse? Leave me a review; I'd love your opinion!**

**I do not have possession of PJ, his friend Jamie, or anything either of them do.**

**-Boots**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8: Trying Again**

(Tara's POV)

"Could you just lean.. No, a little more to the left… Turn some… Never mind… I just- No, wait! Don't move. **That's perfect!**"

I took a few steps back and bend down, zooming my camera in before snapping a picture. My hands shook some, so I took three more pictures just to be safe.

It's not that it's cold out; it's the exact opposite, rather, so I couldn't blame the shaking on that. In truth, I was nervous. I'd never had to take pictures with a live model before and I was stressed out. How did I know what I was doing? For all I knew these photos would be the worst portraits she'd ever see. The angle is probably off and the lighting's probably too bright.

_'Stop beating yourself up,' _I scold myself, _'That's only going to make editing these photos a million times harder.'_

"How was that?" PJ called from his spot about ten feet away. "Reasonable," I answer back, standing up and walking over to him, "I'm finally finished."

My shaking must have been more prominent than I'd originally thought, because PJ eyed me skeptically as I approached him and asked, "Are you ok? Your hands are shaking so much I actually think you might drop your camera."

I nod in response, taking a deep breath and counting back from ten. My nerves seem to subside a little and I give him a small smile. "I'm just a little nervous is all," I explain, "I've never used a live model before and I'm afraid I'm not taking quality photos."

"You've never photographed another person," he beamed, eyebrow rising in surprise, "Well, now I feel really special. I hope I set the bar high for your next model."

I chuckled as we headed back towards his car, "Yes, well, I hope I never have to take pictures with another model. I'm strictly an inanimate object photographer."

"Inanimate object photographer? Quite the technical term, there," he teased, opening the car door for me, "But, in all seriousness, how did you manage almost three years at Uni trying to earn a bachelors in photography without having to take pictures of actual people?

I shrug, "Most my professors would give out projects based on camera angle and lighting and what lens was used, rather than the actual content of the picture. As long as you could see the seven different shades of a single color or somehow managed to take a picture upside down in your house, they didn't care if you were photographing a clown or a pair of three year old shoes. It's never really bothered me, though, it allows me to choose my own content; allows me to capture things I would actually prefer getting a picture of."

"Interesting," he commented, starting the car.

"You say that a lot, don't you," I pointed out, looking over at him with curious eyes.

He looked slightly taken aback, "Say what?"

"Interesting. You say interesting a lot."

"Well a lot of the things you say are interesting."

"How so?"

"It's the way you talk about the simplest things. You could make old socks interesting with the snap of a picture and a brief description on how dearly your feet need them."

"Socks," I repeat, straightening up some, my eyebrows scrunching together in confusion.

"Ok, that wasn't the best analogy," he admitted, shrugging, "But it's the way you speak. As if life is just this ever expanding world of little miracles to you. The way you see the world, though your camera lens, that's how I want to tell life through my stories."

My eyes widened, I'm grasping at straws in my brain, trying to think of what to say next. "I think that's just how you want me to see life," I responded lamely, "Because I'm not sure that's how I see it."

"Well then, how do you see it," He asked calmly, tilting his head to the side.

"It's… Life's a reasonable thing," I mumbled, averting his eye contact.

"Why reasonable," the excited edge in his voice was gone, but the optimism remained.

"Because," I sigh, "Reasonable is safe."

There's silence for a brief second and I look up to see him staring out the window at the park, a large smile still stuck on his face. "One day," he finally broke the silence, turning towards me, "I'm going to show you. One day you're going to see the world exactly the way you explain it to me." And with that we were off to get some lunch.

* * *

A cup of tea in my hands, I stared out the window of the little café we were having lunch at, watching the people outside walk in and out of stores. PJ's words were running through my mind like a man in a marathon. _'One day you're going to see the world exactly the way you explain it to me,' _He'd said. It made me feel different. Not in a weird, uncomfortable way like I thought it would. The way PJ had said it, with so much brilliance and mystery in his eyes; he'd talked the way I'd once heard my mother talk about wanting to become a marine biologist when I was a little kid.

With a love that seemed to never end; my mom's passion was what encouraged me to follow my dreams of being a photojournalist. It was the only thing in my life that seemed to give me the jolt of happiness that marine biology seemed to give my mother. And that was the exact jolt of happiness that PJ's words held when he had spoken to me.

PJ's passion was storytelling and I knew I had given him inspiration.

PJ walked up a few minutes later with our food, handing me my sandwich and taking a seat across from me, "So, what's on the agenda for the rest of the day?" I shrug, setting my tea down before grabbing my sandwich and taking a small bite. "Brilliant," he continued, "Because I figured that since it was such a nice day we would forget any projects or reading or school work in general that we have to do and go for a stroll through the city."

I continued to chew, thinking some on his preposition before nodding in agreement. He nodded back, giving me a crooked smile, and began to eat his lunch.

* * *

We'd been walking around Canterbury for a few hours. It wasn't the biggest city in the world, but we'd managed to grab a few things while we people watched. I'd managed to buy a new memory card and a couple of lenses before PJ snatched away my camera and dragged me into the nearest bargain shop. He told me I'd get it back once he'd taken me home.

The sun was beginning to sink down behind the buildings when we finally began to make our way back to the car. The temperature dropped slightly, giving me goose bumps, but I didn't mind, I just picked up my pace some and I began to hum quietly under my breath.

"So," PJ began, his voice slightly hesitant, "I only have a couple of months until I graduate."

"You do," I agreed, turning his words around in my head.

_'He's graduating,' _I repeated, _'Why am I freaking out, this isn't even a big deal, so what if he's graduating? This isn't like when we were kids, when your friend graduated you never saw them again because they'd made better and more mature friends. We are the better and more mature friends. So why do I feel like melting into the side walk? Wasn't I just having second thoughts about this friendship days ago, anyways? Maybe that's why. Because I'm actually trying to make this friendship work and now I think he is just going to drop me because I'm a year behind him."_

"Tara?" PJ's voice broke through my thoughts and I looked over at him. "Oh," I blinked a few times, "Did you say something?"

He laughed loudly, making my cheeks blush, "Yes. I said that some friends of mine are going with me on a trip for two weeks to Ireland and I was wondering if you'd like to come."

"Ireland," I asked, scrunching my eyebrows together, "Why Ireland?"

"Because it isn't Scotland," He stated, laughing obnoxiously. I shrugged, it must have been some inside joke that I didn't understand.

"Who's all going," I continued after he had composed himself. "Well, people you know would be Jamie, Louis, and Sophie," He started, and I nodded, knowing fairly well who those three people were, "And then I have my friends from the Fantastic Foursome coming along too."

"Fantastic… Foursome," I repeated slowly, my eyes widening some.

"Oh, I forgot you don't watch my videos," he chuckled, running a hand through his hair, "Never thought _that_ would be an inconvenience. Yeah, me and my three friends Dan, Phil, and Chris are all Youtubers and we call our friend group the Fantastic Foursome."

I nod, something poking at the back of my mind. "Dan…" I repeated, biting my lip, "Dan… is not on fire? He's the one who's obsessed with the internet, right?" PJ laughed and nodded his head, "That'd be the one. Figures he'd be the one you'd know, he's got the most subscribers."

I shake my head, "I don't watch people on Youtube at all. Belle almost got us into a car accident last week when her phone updated her that he'd uploaded a new video is all. I don't let her drive us around anymore."

"God, she's dedicated," he muttered, shivering some, "Anyways, what do you think? About the trip that is."

"Well, if I can find the money, I'll definitely come," I agree, smiling brightly.

"You can room with me if that will cut the costs down," he tried, "I need someone to room with anyways. Chris can get a little… clingy."

"Sounds good to me," I decide, smiling some and adding to myself, _'Maybe he won't drop me after all.'_

* * *

_****_**I know, I know, I've been gone for a couple days. But I promise it is with good reason! I've got my play this week and community service to do and scholarships to fill out and projects that are due! I promise I didn't forget you guys!**

**Anyways, woooo chapter 8. Who's been slowly dying as they waited for this one? Yeah. It's a lot longer than the last few chapters. I managed to find some extra time on my hands and put it completely into this chapter.**

**I would like to thank my best friend settingdanonfire for helping me with the plot, yet again. **

**And I'd also like to let all of you in on a little secret. Unlike a lot of people who create O/C characters, my character is not heavily based off myself. It is more influenced by my best friend, aside from the height thing, which is more of a me thing. I just thought that would be an interesting little fact you guys would be surprised to know!**

**Please tell me what you thought of this chapter in the reviews and I will try to get as many chapters up this week as possible!**

**-Boots **


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9: Floating Sea Otters in Outer Space**

(PJ's POV)

I had one month left. Just one. One more month and I was done with Uni. One more month and I would never have to return to the campus of UCA. I was happier than I had ever been in my life; no more projects from professors who could care less if you had a last name, let alone a first.

So why did I feel so conflicted?

It's not like I was moving on and trying to start a whole new life. Jamie and I had agreed to sign the contract on the apartment for another year and my Youtubing was more than enough for a career, at least in the beginning. Something just wasn't sitting right in my stomach every time I thought about leaving Uni.

I sighed and sat up. I'd been lying in my bed, thinking about my confliction for at least two hours. Had I really wasted that much time with some imagined problem when I should have been studying for my finals? Yes, yes I had. Looking at the clock on my night stand a small smile crept across my face. _'6:52 already,' _I thought to myself, _'No point trying to start studying now. Might as well go out and have some fun.'_

After checking to make sure my car keys were still in my pocket, I grabbed the grey jacket on the back of my computer chair and headed out the door, calling out to Jamie that I would be home later.

Half an hour later I was beating obnoxiously on Tara's dorm door. The door opened within seconds, Tara's roommate Isabelle standing in front of me with a frightened expression on her face.

"Why were you knocking on our door so bloody hard," she exclaimed, her expression softening when she realized it was me. "It wasn't me," I shot back, coming up with a creative lie on the spot, "It was the… floating sea otters from outer space. Couldn't stop them. They flew past me on my way in here and when I showed up they were trying to beat the door down with these giant space hammers. Good thing I shooed them away with their favorite food, wailing rainbow clams, just before you opened the door or you could have had a serious problem."

When I finished Isabelle just stared at me. I shifted uncomfortably and just when I was about to ask her to let me in, Tara popped up behind her. "And I'm guessing you just happen to keep wailing rainbow clams in your pocket for such an occasion?" she teased. "Well of course," I laughed, nodding my head, "I always come prepared." Isabelle seemed to snap out of her trance then, looking from Tara to me and shaking her head. "I'm surrounded by lunatics," she sighed, moving away from the door and disappearing into the door.

"So what brings you to my humble abode," Tara began sarcastically, "And don't say it was the sea otters, because I know your encounter with them was merely coincidental." I threw up my arms in defeat and walked into the room, shutting the door behind me, "You caught me. It wasn't the sea otters that brought me here, but rather the little voice in my head that reminded me that you found your Nintendo-64."

Looking over at Tara, I saw her staring back with an eyebrow raised, "Don't you have your own?"

"Well… yes, but I wanted someone to play with," I explained, falling back onto her bed. "Jamie was holed up in his room playing some game online and I knew if I invited you over you would tell me you were studying, so I decided to surprise you… Surprise!"

I threw up my arms in fake enthusiasm, before kicking off my shoes and curling up onto her bed comfortably. "I am studying," she stated, gesturing over to a desk filled with open books and pieces of paper, "Why aren't you?"

"Eh," I groaned, looking over at Isabelle who was zoned out on her phone, "By the time I decided I wanted to, it was much too late to start. Which is why you… should... entertain me." While I was speaking Tara had sat back in her chair and pretended to get back to studying so I grabbed the behind my head and began to smack her with it.

"Pj," she giggled, trying to swat me away, "PJ... Stop... Ok... PJ stop… Stop and I'll play Zelda with you!"

"Yay," I cheered, throwing the pillow back at the top of her bed.

And so it went. We took turns playing Zelda until about eleven at night, when Isabelle kicked me out, saying she needed her "beauty sleep." I grumbled a good bye before heading out of the dorm. I wasn't ready to go home yet. I was bubbling with energy and I needed to do something.

_'It __**is **__the weekend,' _I argued, circling around to the side of the building and counting the windows off, '_Any beauty sleep she needs, can be had tomorrow.' _I stopped at the fourth window from the end and began knocking.

The curtains drew back moments later and Tara's laughing face appeared. She called something over her shoulder before opening the window. "I thought you were going home," Tara teased, Isabelle appearing by her side a few moments later, a wide grin spread across her face.

"Home," I called loudly, making them shush me with slightly panicked expressions, "Home is for squares. I want to go out for tea and you two are coming with me."

Tara stared at me with an odd expression before blinking a few times. "What has gotten into you today? You seem overly… PJ."

"Like you jumped right out of one of your videos," Isabelle agreed, nodding.

I shrugged, my mouth spreading into a wide grin. "Who cares, I'm in a good mood and we should relish in it," I stated, matter-of-factly before adding to myself, '_Especially since I've been in this weird funk for the last week because of a feeling I can't shake_.'

"Now let's go."

* * *

**Today was the first day of my play 'The Wizard of Oz' and I was so happy! I apologize for the lack of updates this week. I just have a lot going on recently. But thanks to some ~gentle~ pushing from a friend, I've brought you this.**

**So. It's not really a filler chapter, but not really an important chapter either.**

**I plan to get the ball seriously rolling within the next few chapters. Maybe a serious plot twist, who knows(;**

**But seriously I don't think it will be longer than 35 chapters (the story I mean). It ****_is _****my first fic and I think that is actually pretty good. **

**I tried to show a few new sides of PJ; a little bit deeper and also a bit crazier. Tell me what you think.**

**I do not have ownership over PJ or his stuff cause that's wrong.**

**-Boots**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10: Family Matters**

(Tara's POV)

_Bzz... Bzz... Bzz..._

I looked up from the notes I was studying and sighed.

_'I only have a week till exams,' _I groaned inwardly, _'Whoever it is needs to get the picture.'_

PJ, who was sitting across from me, looked up too. "You should really see who that is," he whispered, "This is the third time they've called since we got here."

He was right. We'd arrived at the library over an hour ago, Isabelle had kicked us out of the dorm to do some "studying" with her boyfriend, and my phone wouldn't quit ringing.

With a huff I picked it up and checked the caller I.D.: 'Mom'. '_Oh no_,' I thought,_ 'She probably thinks something horrible has happened to me.'_

I mouthed to PJ that I'd be back in a moment and headed out of the building, picking up the phone. "Hey, mom," I started.

"Tara, hey," she chriped, "Sorry to bother you, but I am just so excited!"

"About what?"

"Your room is all ready for you for when you come back after the semester is over!"

"Oh," I tried to sound enthusiastic, but I wasn't. It's not that I didn't want to go back, because I did, but I'd forgotten to tell her I wasn't going to be there right after I'd finished out the semester.

"Mom, there's something I have to tell you."

"What's that?" Her tone changed almost instantly from light to stern.

"I won't be coming home the first two weeks of summer."

"Why not?" She asked with a hint of irritation; this was going to end badly.

"Well," I began, mustering up the courage, "Because I am going on a trip with my friends to Ireland."

"You're doing _what_?" She snapped, making me flinch, "And when did you plan on telling me this?"

"Mom, there's no need to get mad," I shot back, "I'm 20, not 12. I can make decisions like this without your permission."

"Not when you plan on stay at my house for the summer!"

"It's just a trip to Ireland, mom. I'll be with PJ, it isn't a big deal."

"_**PJ**_? Who the bloody hell is PJ?! The only friends you've ever talked to me about are Mark and Isabelle. Did you meet him online? Is that why you're going to Ireland? To meet up with your online boyfriend?"

"What? No! He goes to UCA with me! He's a senior. I met him back at the beginning of the year."

"So you just meet some random boy and run away with him to Ireland and decide not to tell me!"

"Mom, _stop_!" I hissed, "Maybe if you'd just ask instead of jumping to conclusions and yelling at me, you'd know the whole story! I'm going with PJ and 6 other people to Ireland for two weeks. It's a celebration trip because PJ is graduating. It's not something to get all bent out of shape about. We're all mature adults. It's not like I am sixteen anymore, I can take care of myself. I just want to live a little."

"Well I guess you can just find a new place to stay for the summer since you are so mature and can take care of yourself," she spit before hanging up the phone.

I took a deep, frustrated breath and slunk down against the library wall. She wasn't serious, was she? It was hard to tell. On one hand I was her first born child, and her only daughter, andd she was very protective of me because of it. On the other, though, she'd made my dad sleep on the couch for a whole week because he'd done her laundry for her and forgot to seperate them correctly.

I sat for a long while, thinking, wondering, if she was serious and, if she was, where I was going to stay.

PJ walked out of the building about a half hour later and looked around. When he spotted me, the worried look on his face was replaced with one of relief and he took a seat next to me.

"Hey," he tried, glancing at me, "Why are you still sitting out here?"

"My mom just told me to find another place to stay for the summer because I didn't ask her if I could go to Ireland," I huffed.

"Wait, really?"

"Yeah."

"But you're twenty!"

"I know."

"Well that's ridiculous," he exclaimed before he looked over at me with a serious expression, "Where do you plan on staying?"

"I don't know," I whined, hiding my head in my knees, "I really have no idea. It's one thing to camp out at a friend or family member's house for a week or two between semesters, but this is almost three months."

"Well..." He mused, "You could always stay with Jamie and I for the summer. We don't have a spare room, but you could keep your stuff in my room and I'll sleep out on the couch."

I picked my head up and looked over at him, "Oh no, I couldn't possibly."

"I insist. It's just a couple of months. And besides, Jamie and I will have graduated, we'll need someone around the house to make us actually do things."

I laughed some and stood up, holding my hand out to pull PJ up. "Well," I decided, "I guess I'll take you up on your offer, assuming my mom was serious about not letting me come home, but I'm sleeping on the couch, not you."

We laughed and headed back into the library to continue studying.

* * *

**Yay. I did it! Chapter 10! Finally in the double digit chapters! I really thought I would never get this far, I am literally the laziest person you will ever meet, but I am so glad I did.**

**How's everyone liking the story so far? Too fast or too slow? Too realistic or not realistic enough? Let me know!**

**Finally added a bit of drama to the story line. Trust me, this is not even close to the end of the drama or excitement. I want to let all of my readers know right now that there will be no ED 's, cutting, suicide attempts, or any other generally angst filled topics. If you were hoping at some point that the O/C would have one of these then you have found the wrong fic.**

**Thank you everyone for 500 views! You have no idea how much that means to me!**

**-Boots**


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11: The Day Before**

(Tara's POV)

"I'm going to miss you so much," Belle whined as I packed up the last of my clothing into my suitcase.

"Belle, I'm only going to be gone for two weeks," I ensured her, zipping up the bag, "After that I'll be down the road staying-" "Staying with PJ, I know," she interrupted, fidgeting some, "I still can't get over the fact that you are going to be living with him for the summer!"

I sighed heavily, "It's not like I want to, Belle." "I know, I know. You're having trouble with your mom," she rushed the words, knowing I didn't want to talk about it, "But still, PJ. Ugh. I am so jealous."

I shook my head, ignoring her. I hadn't spoken to my mom since the fight we had last week. Now that I had finished my exams and was less than twenty four hours away from hopping a plane to Ireland with 7 other people, I wanted nothing more than to call her.

I'd tried once before, a couple days ago, and Trevor had picked up the phone.

_"Hey, Tarabear," he used my mother's nickname for me mockingly, the way he used to when I still lived at home to embarrass me when friends were over._

_"Shut up, Trev-whore, where's mom," I grumbled into the phone, setting down my laptop. "Tara," he started, his voice taking on a nervous edge, "She's still pretty upset about what happened. I don't think there's a person under the sun she hasn't called and bitched to." I groaned and leaned back in my chair, "What should I do Trevor?"_

_"Go on the trip," he answered easily, as if he'd been waiting for me to ask since he'd picked up the phone, "That's what I would do. You are an adult, Tara. I think mom is just mad because she still wants to treat us like we're kids."_

_"You are a kid, Trevor," I teased, a small smile creeping onto my face. "Hey," he whined, "I am seventeen years old. Remember when you were seventeen and you would complain when people called you a child?" "Yeah," I agreed, my smile getting bigger, "And now I know how right they were."_

_The line was silent for a second before Trevor spoke again, his voice serious, "Do you have a place to stay for the summer?" "I do," I replied, rubbing my arm thoughtlessly, "I'm staying with PJ until mom lets me come home."_

_"Call her a few weeks after you get back from Ireland," he stated before he mumbled a quick goodbye, the sound of their mom's voice asking where her phone was getting cut short._

I never found out if Trevor was caught talking to me, they hadn't spoken since that day, but I pushed the thoughts aside and focused on moving the last of my belongings into PJ's apartment. He'd helped move a majority of my things with me like my bedding and tripod, but my clothing I brought over myself, most of it going with me on the trip to Ireland anyways.

When I arrived at PJ's house for the final time, having given Isabelle a long hug and yelling promises that we would hang out when I got back as I got into my car, he was sitting on his bed, looking at the pictures I'd taken on my camera.

"I thought you said I was the first model you've ever used," he commented as I set the heavy bag down. "You are," I huffed, sitting down next to him. He flashed the camera at me and I caught a glimpse of the drunk boy dancing with the clown I'd taken a picture of back at the party we first met at.

"Well that's not the same thing," I laughed, seeing how PJ would get it confused. "Oh, how so," he shot, a smile on his lips. "Because he wasn't modeling for that picture. He was just at the right place at the right time. To me he is just as inanimate as the pictures I've taken of stilled marbles," I explained, laying back on his bed, "When I had to take those pictures of you for that project, I actually had to focus in on you as a person, not an object. I had to have you portray emotion and not just capture some little oddity I liked."

He stared at me for a while after that, the look of excited wonder in his eyes again, like the day he'd tried to explain why he found me so interesting.

The silence was comforting and I looked up at the ceiling as the sinking sun indicated the night would soon be here. My stomach fluttered with an excited uneasiness; Ireland would soon be here.

"Ten more hours," PJ mumbled next to me, as if reading my thoughts. "I know," I whispered, folding my hands over my stomach in attempt to calm myself down, "I don't think I've ever been so excited."

"Ready to meet the rest of the Fantastic Foursome," he inquired, smirking at me.

I propped myself up on one of my elbows, looking at him nervously; I'd completely forgotten about meeting them. "Do they know much about me?" I asked, my voice a lot quieter than I wanted it to be.

"They know some stuff," he nodded, staring out the window, "That we go to school together and that we met at a party. They know you like Zelda and that you're going to UCA to be a photojournalist and that you're short."

I grimaced at the last part, "Just had to add that in there didn't ya." He let out an amused laugh and glanced over at me, "Hey, if you think I'm bad, Dan is six foot three."

I shook my head, laughing with him, "Might as well just carry me on your shoulders everywhere."

He stopped laughing and looked over at me with excited eyes, "I can do that?!"

I stared at him with wide eyes before we both broke out in a fit of giggles.

* * *

**Well, the plays are finally over. I don't feel happy, I don't feel sad. I just feel nostalgic. Even if most the people did more sh!t talking than actually acting. 16 days till I graduate highschool, guys! Who's excited for me?... Yeah, I'm pretty on the fence about it too. At least it means I get to hang out with the new friend I made and my best friend all the time!**

**So here's the new chapter, basically set it up for a grand old time on their two week vacation in Ireland! GET READY FOR THE BEST TIME OF YOUR LIFE. I promise it is going to get interesting from here on out. And also.. I should probably just apologize in advance for making you have feelings. It's gonna happen. Prepare yourself.**

**Aaaaaanyways, how's everyone liking the fic? I've gotten tons of postivie feedback and that is soooo amazing, you don't even understand. And reaching 500 views was just... so incredible. I love every single one of you. I never thought my writing would be so liked. Honestly.**

**Meh. Guess who found Kevedd this weekend. I'm a bit ashamed to have spent this much time in a tag that I am not even sure I ship or even like. Do any of my readers like Kevedd? Or even know what that is? Leave me a review if you do!**

**And IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIeIIIIIII don't own PJJJJJJJJJJ ooooooooooooo (I really hope you all sang that to 'I Will Always Love You' by Whitney Houston.)**

**-Boots**


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12: Odd Dreams**

(PJ's POV)

_Floating. I was floating. The darkness was all around me, pressing against me, but all I could feel was an overwhelming sense of calmness. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear my mother singing a lullaby I used to fall asleep to as a small child. It grew steadily louder, slowly consuming the space around me until it was all I could hear, all I could feel. _

_Slowly scenery came into focus. I was lying down in the park I'd often used when recording videos. My most recent visit, though, was with Tara, when she needed a live model. The air was still, no sound except my mother's lullaby as it slowly faded back into the darkness. There was a tree above me, slightly obscuring the view of the bright blue sky. It was quiet. So quiet that even the ringing in my ears seemed to be silenced. I made a move to sit up, but body refused. I tried again, only to let out a small grunt from the effort._

_"PJ…" a soft, but distinctly familiar voice called, "PJ…"_

_The sky and the tree disappeared, then, blocked out by a giant shadow. It took a second for my eyes to catch up, but when they finally came into focus on the object I realized it wasn't a shadow at all, but a person. A girl with long black hair and blue eyes._

_Tara._

_"Hey, PJ," she whispered in a voice of silky smoothness. There was something in the way she spoke my name that sent a chill running down my spine. There was an intensity in her eyes that I only ever saw when she was photographing something that caught her interest. It was in that moment that I became all too aware of our position. Her hands were gripping my shoulders tightly and she straddled my waist, legs pushed against my sides._

_This was different; Very, very different._

_"T-tara," I stammered, trying not to focus too much on our comparable position, "What're you doing?"_

_"Shhh," she whispered, the air changing some as her warm breath hit my face. It smelled heavily of spices. _'Did her breath normally smell of spices,_' I wondered, _'I guess I never really thought about it.'

_"Hey, don't zone out on me now," she breathed, a teasing smile playing across her. Her face was much closer now and her eyes were dark with an emotion I'd never seen on her. Lust. She lowered her mouth and ghosted it along my jawline, sending chills down my spine again. _'This isn't right,' _my brain screamed, _'This isn't Tara.'

_"Tara, you should r-really think about this," I tried to rationalized as her mouth crept across my skin, moving closer to my mouth. "Shhh," was her automatic response. I braced myself, but instead of soft lips against my own, they moved up further, stopping at my ear. _

_"Wake up, PJ," she chimed, her voice suddenly bubbling with childish energy, "Wakey, wakey."_

* * *

I shot up in bed, my eyes focusing on my half-opened door. My brain caught up a few seconds later and I turned my head to the left; Tara was smiling brightly at me, eyes filled with excitement.

"Good, you're awake. Dan and Phil are already here, but I told them to wait out in the living room while I woke you up," she swiftly spoke and I almost didn't catch what she said, my brain still bogged down with the dream I'd been woken up from.

It was a dream, thankfully. But it struck me as incredibly odd, and not to mention uncomfortable. Not to say that I'd never had dreams about girls before; I'd had my fair share of less than appropriate dreams, but they were always about girls I was involved with, never my friends. Something was tugging at my brain, but I couldn't focus on it. And I really shouldn't right now, it was much too early and, as Tara had just pointed out, I had company that was ready to get on a plane to Ireland.

I focused in on Tara again and gave her a wide smile, pushing the dream to the back of my mind, "Tell them I'll be out in a second, I have to get changed." "Gotcha," she chirped, standing up and skipping out of the room. I looked over at the clock: 6:12. How could she possibly have so much energy at such an ungodly hour?

Shaking my head and laughing at Tara's excited actions, I got out of bed and pulled on a pair of black jeans, a white button down, and my favorite grey hoodie.

I stepped out of the room lightly, noting that Jaime's door was still closed, and travelled down the hallway to the sitting room, where voices conversed happily.

"… don't like Youtube? But surely you go on Tumblr!" Dan's voice sounded so flabbergasted I thought he might drop dead.

"Mmm, nope," came Tara's easy response, "I don't much care for the internet, let alone social networking sites."

**"What?!"** Dan nearly shouted, I smirked some and leaned against the corner of the hallway, watching contently, "How do you _live?_"

"Not everyone needs the internet to function, Dan," Phil chortled, sinking further into the couch, "Though getting onto Tumblr might actually be a good idea for you, Tara. PJ said you have quite the knack for photography and Tumblr has a network of artists and photographers for you to converse with and further get your name known in the art world."

"I like to take pictures," Tara mumbled, blushing some, "I wouldn't say I have a _knack _for it."

"She's just being modest," I piped up from my spot in the hallway, making everyone look up, "She's really quite brilliant."

Tara's blush darkened, but before she had the chance to argue, there was a knock at the door.

"I got it," I spoke, heading for the door before anyone could get up, "Is Jamie up yet?"

"Yeah, he's making tea for us while we wait for the rest to arrive," Tara mused.

I opened the door to Chris's tired face, which quickly lit up when he saw me. "PEEEEEEJ," he drew out my name as he wrapped his arms around my neck in a tight hug.

"Hey, Chris, ready for Ireland," I asked, hugging him back and shutting the door. "You bet I am," he beamed, letting go and plopping down on the couch in between Phil and Dan, "Are you going to record our trip for your channel?"

"Of course," I nodded, turning to the cluttered desk pushed against one of the sitting room walls and picking up my camcorder. "So am I," Dan bubbled, pushing his hair out of his face and grabbing his phone from his pocket before Phil added, "Me too."

A squeak sounded from the recliner and all eyes shifted to Tara, whose eyes were wide with fright. "You guys are… recording our trip," she managed, looking around at each Youtuber, "I- I wasn't aware."

"Well of course," Dan laughed, shoving his phone back in his pocket, "I mean it is our jobs."

Her eyes grew wider, which I hadn't thought possible, and she bit her bottom lip into her mouth.

"Is that… a problem?" Phil asked, worry hanging at the end of every word.

Tara chewed on her lip some before letting it go and relaxing slightly into the recliner. "N-no," she stammered, "Not at all. I just… your fans won't get mad… if I'm in your videos?"

"Why would they," Dan questioned, looking confused, "You're our friend. And even if they are bothered by it they can just kiss my ass."

"Dan," Phil scolded, "They are your _fans_."

"Yes and we all ninety-five percent of them would gladly kiss my ass if given the chance," he boasted, winking over at Tara.

Chris's laughter erupted from his chest, "He's got a point there. Fangirls can be… crazy."

"You don't have to tell me," Tara joked, giving me a tiny smile because we both knew she was talking about Isabelle.

Jaime walked in then, carrying five cups of tea in his arms. "Here," he spoke quickly as he passed out the tea. "I put them in cups we could take with us because I just saw Sophie and Louis getting out of the car through the window. Which means it is time to grab our stuff and head to the airport. I apologize for not making you a cup, Chris; I didn't know you would be here so soon. You can drive with me, Louis and Sophie, since I know you best and Dan and Phil can go with Tara and PJ. We are trying to take as few cars as possible as to minimize parking fees."

"Jamie," I managed before he could continue talking, "Calm down, we have everything we need and plenty of time to get to the airport." I took my tea from him and he stared at me for a moment before slowly nodding. "Yes, I suppose your right," he agreed, grabbing his bag from the corner of the room.

There was a hard knock on the door, signifying Sophie and Louis were indeed here and that we needed to get going. I grabbed my bag out of my room and quickly ushered the rest of the group out before taking one last look around the apartment. Locking the door, I made my way down to the car and stuffed my suitcase into what little room was left in my trunk. I scrambled into the driver's seat and quickly looked at everyone. Dan was sitting in the passenger's seat and Phil and Tara had taken the two seats in the back and were chatting quietly about childhood stories.

"Let's get going already," Dan whined, pulling his phone out of his pocket and finding a game to preoccupy him for the short trip to the airport. I gave a sharp nod then and put the car into drive, swiftly pulling out of the apartment complex, right behind Jamie.

* * *

**Why am I posting this so late at night (for me)? Because I was just so wired that I had to finish and post it tonight. I HAD TO.**

**So I figured I would just mess with everyone's head a bit and give you a little PJ conflicting emotions to spark a little interest in this friendship and remind you that this is going somewhere!**

**Don't think this is the end, because it isn't even close. I apologize, I am really hyper and awake right now and it sucks because I have school in a couple of hours.**

**I would like to make a comment that it is really hard RPF one Youtuber that you have never actually met, but FOUR, it is honestly so hard. There is so much to take into account when it comes to each person and I really hope I didn't screw up their personalities too much. If you feel I really screwed up one of your favorite Youtubers please just leave a review telling me how you think someone would actually act and I will totally take it into consideration when writing future chapters!**

**PJ isn't mine. Dan isn't mine. Phil isn't mine. Chris isn't mine. Nobody is mine. Ugh.**

**-Boots**


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13: Welcome to Ireland**

(Tara's POV)

"Say something funny," PJ chirped while shoving the camera in my face.

I groaned groggily, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. The flight was only an hour an fifteen minutes, but my excited brain had woken me up at 5 and refused to calm down enough for me to go back to sleep, so I wanted to take a nap. And honestly, though I'd never admit it, I was afraid of being so high in the air with nothing, but a lap belt and some metal protecting me. I groaned again and looked over at PJ with a heated glare, "PJ, come on, het that out of my face. I just woke up. Besides, I'm camera shy."

"A camera shy photographer," he teased, pulling the camcorder away some, but still keeping it pointed towards my face, "You're hilarious."

I punched him in the arm playfully before turning to look out the window.

I stared at the too bright sky for a few minutes before shutting the window and turning back towards PJ, who was still recording things on the plane.

"Put that away," I hissed, seeing a flight attendant making her way down the aisle, "You're supposed to turn off all electronics when we're descending."

"Aww, come off it," he jeered before I grabbed it out of his hands and clicked the power button.

I glared at him for a moment and his face softened. "I'm.. I'm sorry," he mumbled, folding his hands in his lap, "I've just been a little off since I woke up."

"Probably just excited because you're finished with Uni and hanging out with your best friends in Ireland for two weeks," I tried, giving him wide smile.

"Yeah," he responded half-heartedly, not meeting my gaze, "Probably."

I stared at him for a second more; something was really off with him. I set my jaw. We were hundreds of miles away from home and I wanted nothing more than to make this trip the most fun PJ ever had. Partly because he deserved it and partly because I wanted to prove to him that I was someone worth keeping around.

* * *

We arrived at the hotel an hour later, which was horrid because the hotel was only twenty minutes away from the airport. After having to gather everyone up when we got off the plane, we spent half an hour looking for Dan and Sophie's bags, which were taken by an old couple by accident. Then, to top off the monstrosity that was leaving the airport, we'd forget Louis at the airport when we all piled into the taxis and had to turn around and get him.

When we finally arrived at our room, last out of everyone else because PJ decided to open everyone's door for them, I set my suit case in the corner and collapsed onto one of the stiff queen beds.

"I never want to move again," I grumbled into a pillow, before rolling onto my back and staring at the ceiling.

"Too bad," PJ chortled, "It's only eleven eleven thirty in the morning and we have lunch to go get and sites to see."

"Can't we just make today a lazy day," I tried, yawning, "I'm sure everyone else would agree."

As if on queue, someone began to beat on the door. "Hey, PJ," Dan called obnoxiously, "Quit macking with Tara and get out here. I'm starving."

PJ stiffened for a moment and I felt cheeks burn slightly. "I got it," he groaned, putting his suitcase next to mine and throwing the door open.

"Finally," Dan sighed as if he'd been standing at the door for a half hour and not 15 seconds.

"Where are we going to eat?" PJ inquired.

"Doesn't matter," Dan responded, "Phil said something about going to a local place because we could eat fast food anywhere in London. So... Yeah. Is Tara ready?"

At the sound of my name, a sudden burst of energy surged through my veins and I jumped up from the bed. "Totally," I chirped, jumping onto PJ's back and surprising him.

"What happened to never moving off the bed again?" He coughed, adjusting my position some and holding onto my knees. "Eh, never came and passed," I laughed, looking over at Dan, "I'm ready for adventure."

"I'll get Phil," Dan smiled, walking away.

"And we'll get the others," I called after him before urging PJ on to the other doors.

We ended up having lunch at this small place called called Bewley's Cafe. I ordered a tea and a small sandwich, my stomach not completely settled from the plane ride.

After lunch we spent the majority of the day walking around the shops near the cafe we ate at.

Around 7, we finally made our way back to the hotel, Chris and Louis pushing their way in and running to the elevators, shouting that they would make it to the pool first.

I was talking to Phil about his life with Dan and how he'd recently visited America when there was a tap at my shoulder.

I turned my head to see a wide-smiled PJ, "You wanna go swimming?"

I looked back at Phil, who nodded that he was going and turned back. "Totally!" I bubbled, before bidding a quick goodbye to Phil and taking off towards the elevator.

After the elevator opened up to our floor, PJ and I raced to the room, almost colliding into each other as we fought to open the door.

I slid my key in and opened the door, cheering at my victory. Once in the room I grabbed my bathing suit and slipped into the bathroom to change.

* * *

"Are you ever coming out," PJ called through the door, ten minutes later.

"Huh? Oh yeah, give me a minute," I called back. I'd been staring at my reflection without even noticing. It wasn't like I was disappointed by what I saw. Just... Confused.

Long black hair fell in uneven waves down to my elbows, making my already green eyes look brighter. Not to mention my skin, which looked pale enough in contrast to my hair, but with my bright orange bathing suit on, I felt like a scantily clad ghost.

This was me... But. It didn't feel like me. I stared for a moment longer before looking away. '_That's enough, Tara,' _I repremanded,_ 'You can question who you are when you get back from the pool._'

I pulled on an oversized, light blue tanktop that Belle had bought me after learning I didn't have a coverup for my bathing suit, grabbed two towels and headed back into the room.

PJ was laying on the couch, wearing a pair of grey swimming trunks and staring at the ceiling. When I entered the room, he looked over and grinned, "About time. Thought you fell into the toliet for a minute."

"Har, har, har," I spit sarcastically, a goofy grin on my face, "Let's go. I don't want to be the last ones down there!"

We hussled down to the elevator and when we arrived at the pool Dan, Phil, Sophie, and Jamie were already in the pool playing a game of chicken and frightening a mother who's two children were on the opposite side of the pool.

"Wait, wait, I want to play," PJ called, running towards the pool and jumping in.

I laughed and put the towels on a table next to the rest of our friend's stuff before jumping into the pool after him.

We played chicken in the pool for an hour, five minutes in Chris and Louis joined us, giant grins on their faces.

"Good thing you ran up to your room so that you guys could get down here first," I teased before squealing as Sophie pushed me into the pool.

We hung out in the pool till eleven, when one of the attendants told us we would have to go back to our rooms or face getting kicked out.

I hadn't realized how truly exhausted I was until I walked back into the room with PJ and grabbed my pajamas. I changed in the bathroom, sluggishly, wave after wave of sleepiness hitting me like a wall. After hanging up my bathing suit and pulling my wet hair into a tight bun on the top of my head, I stepped back into the room. The lights were off and PJ was already underneath his duvet, eyes closed.

I chuckled softly before lying down on my own bed, pulling my duvet up to my chin and letting sleep pull me under within seconds.

* * *

**It's done!**

**Sorry for making you guys wait so long. School is over in 5 days and I have been trying to stay up to date on my school work and exams.**

**I wrote an extra long chapter that I hope will make up for my absence!**

**For all of those who are questioning, as I thought some may. I would like to clarify something. They left the house around 7-7:15 and their flight was at 8:50. The flight is an hour and fifteen minutes long, as I mentioned, making them get there at 10:05 and they spent an hour trying to get to their hotel. Making it roughly 11:05. 10 minutes to get their keys and go up to their rooms and that is how I got that number. Just in case you were wondering. **

**I try not to leave things open ended because I realize you don't see the story as I do, seeing minute details, but deciding to leave them out. So I try to clarify best as possible. If something does confuse you, though, please feel free to ask.**

**No PJ for me. Nor any of his friends of anything he owns or has video taped. Darn.**

**-Boots **


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14: Exploring Ireland**

After waking up from the exhausting arrival day, I found Tara already up, sitting cross legged on her bed and eating an omelette.

"Good morning, sleepy head," she greeted in a hushed tone, sending a small smile my way. I grinned back sleepily and sat upright, stretching with a loud groan. "What time is it?" "9:52."

I let myself fall back down onto the bed and turned to face Tara. She was looking down at the book set open in her lap and continued eating her omelette. We stayed like that for a while, her reading and eating and I watching as I let my mind wander about ideas to do for Youtube. I'd wanted to pit a lot of my ideas down and show them to Louis and Sophie, but I'd been so busy as of late that I just kept pushing it off till later.

"What?" Tara's voice pulled me away from my video ideas and back to her, where I realized I was still staring. "Oh, uhh, nothing," I spoke, sitting up again and swinging my legs over the side of the bed, "I do have a serious question, though. Some of us wanted to feel the more organic part of Ireland, so we're going to take a trip down to Castleisland. Sophie has a friend who lives there who's been to this amazing bog. I've always wanted to explore a blog so I'm sold on going. You don't have to go if you wouldn't like to, I just figured I'd ask."

Tara closed her book, setting her empty plate on top of it and putting them on the bed next to her with a wide grin, "Of course I'll go! Who's joining us?" "Um, Sophie, Louis, and Phil." Her eyes lit up when I said Phil's name and something tightened in my stomach a little. _'She fancies Phil,'_ I thought, a little bewildered,_ 'I mean of all people I would have expected Dan.'_

"I'm not interested in either, thank you very much," Tara snapped, eyes ablaze. My eyes went wide, I hadn't realized I was thinking out loud. "It's not... I mean," I stumbled over my words; there really was no coming back from this one. Should I just start rambling about random things? No, that would only make it worse. "You just seemed very taken by him is all... He's a right proper guy. I mean, if you **_did_** fancy him there's nothing wrong with it... I-"

Tara lunged at me from her bed and tackled me to mine; my heart beat wildly as I thought I really upset her, until I heard her giggles. "I'm just teasing, PJ," she laughed, looking down at me cheerfully, "I don't fancy Phil, though. I mean he's incredibly interesting and fun to listen to, but he's nothing more than a friend."

The tightening in my stomach faded and I tried hard not to think about what it meant as I looked up at Tara, who still had me pinned against the bed. Her long black hair was hanging around her face and just barely brushed mine, tickling my cheeks and nose.

The feeling of the dream came back as I became hyper-aware that we were in a position much like that. Only this time she was looking at me with a toothy smile and curious eyes. Somehow that only made the feeling stronger.

"PJ..." she began, saying it as if a question were going to follow, but biting her lip and looking up instead.

_'Should I...'_ I wondered, before banishing the thought. _'No. No, of course not. She's my friend. A very good friend who is supposed to be staying at my house after this and doing that would just make it awkward. Still...'_

My phone began to ring not a second later and Tara stiffened before rolling off me with a giggle. I picked up my phone and saw Chris was calling and wondered for a half a second why he hadn't come and knocked on the door, before answering it.

"'Ello," I greeted, sitting up and rubbing the back of my neck. "Hey, Peej," Chris responded with a half full mouth, "I'm down getting breakfast, you want me to grab you something?" "Oh, yes please," I sighed, thankful I wouldn't have to make the trek down there, "Get me a couple crêpes with whipped cream and strawberry sauce." "Mmmm, think I might get myself some too," he agreed before saying goodbye and hanging up.

Turning back to Tara, she had her book open again in her lap l, reading away like I wasn't there. I wanted to ask what happened. If she felt some kind of attraction to me, but just as I opened my mouth to ask she snapped her head up and asked why Dan, Jamie, and Chris weren't going backpacking.

"Too lazy," I shrugged, "Dan and Jamie would rather play video games and surf the internet and Chris would rather sleep." She hummed an agreement and turned back to her book, a small smile on her face.

* * *

To get to Castleisland we'd decide to have Sophie's friend Anne pick the five of us up in her minivan and pay her for gas, splitting the cost among us. She also extended the service of letting us stay at her parents house, in the basement for there wasn't room anywhere else, if we bailed out on staying in tents. "The bogs are pretty nasty," she commented, " Bugs and what not. Plus the ground is sodden where it isn't completely underwater. I suggest you come back each night. My parents are visiting family in France for the week, so it's cool."

The trip had taken almost four hours. Sophie sat up front with Anne. Louis and I stole the middle seats, leaving Phil and Tara in the back. I almost opted to give Phil my seat, but after the weirdness that was that morning, I decided against it.

We'd only taken backpacks with three days worth of clothes, essentials like deodorant, and room for food. We didn't want to lug our suitcases with us, nor did we want to continue paying for rooms we weren't staying in, so we left our suit cases in the room the three boys had decided to share.

"Wait," Tara cried as we stepped out of Anne's house, everyone staring at her confused, "I don't have boots." "You can borrow mine." Anne called from the door, disappearing in the house and reappearing a few moments later with a pair of slightly muddy, black boots. "Oh thank you," Tara gasped, grabbing them, "You're a life saver."

We'd spent the next four days exploring the humid, bug-filled bogs. Our trek started in Knockariddera, where we were yelled af by a park ranger that we were trespassing on Heritage Park private property and if we didn't leave we'd be arrested. We laughed and promised each other to be more stealthy next time. Our next bog was Sheheree, and then down the road to Killarney National Park, where Louis found the beginning of Muckross Lake after falling in.

We'd spent the last two days a little further down the N-22 at the much more spacious Sillahertane and Conigar Bogs. I promised Anne I'd pay her back for the gas and give her the money to invest in some air fresheners since we'd basically ground the spell of rotting plants into her carpet and seats. We weren't caught at either bogs, even though they were Heritage Parks, but the idea of getting caught was enough to keep us in giggles.

That night, after showering and washing all of our clothes, Anne took us back to the hotel in Dublin and we paid her for her generosity. She tried to deny it at first, but after some polite pushing she thanked us whole-heartedly and started her trip back home.

We were beat, you could see it in our sluggish movements and the way we slumped against the walls of the elevator as we rode it up. I pulled out my camera, which I'd used to record a few of our trips, and began filming my exhausted friends.

"How's everyone feeling?"

A groan emitted from them simultaneously, before Phil added, "I think my nose is broken. I can't smell anything, but decomposing plants."

"That's because you still smell like decomposing plants," Tara teased, her eyes half-way closed, "We all do."

"At least we don't smell like lake, too," Sophie grinned, but Louis was already snoring softly against the wall and had missed her jab.

We all piled into our rooms, which Dan, Jamie, and Chris had politely gotten again for us, and I collapsed on my bed. Tara shuffled quietly and I looked over to see her pulling out of her suit case, which one of the boys must have put in here, some clean pjs. I chuckled lightly at the irony of the name.

"Four days at the bogs was totally worth it," she stated, "The dying things providing life for the living. It's brilliant, but I need another shower."

"You're right," I called as she headed towards the bathroom, "Gives me new ideas for videos." I heard the bathroom door close and was asleep before she got out of the shower.

* * *

**I am so, so, so sorry I have been gone. Please, please forgive me.**

**I finally graduated from high school (wooooooooohooooooo) and I had writer's block with this story and I started writing an actual book and I just need a quick (slightly extended) break. But I am back and full of ideas that will be pouring out with the days to come! **

**I am so glad so many have stuck with me and waited patiently and I even got a few new followers! Thank you all for the support, you'll honestly never know how much it means!**

**On a side note (and I am very proud of this) ALL of the places in Ireland noted in this chapter are REAL. Yes! I looked them all up myself, even the street I mentioned is real. How's that for dedication. I created Anne, of course, and some of the facts are fabricated (like I'm unsure if Heritage Park are not allowed to be entered, I just assumed they were because there are some serious protection laws on them). But I thought you would all be interested to know that.**

**I don't have possession of the Fantastic Foursome or PJ's friends. Stop thinking that guys.**

**-Boots**


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15: Irish Tradition**

"What do you mean you're waiting till the last day," Louis blundered from across the room, "It's practically Irish custom to get piss poor drunk as often as you can while on vacation."

We were all sitting around PJ and I's hotel room. The Fantastic Foursome, as I realized the boys liked to call themselves a lot, were spread out on one bed and Sophie and Jamie were on the other. Louis and I had claimed the arm chairs in rather opposite positions, him lounging completely across it and me curled up with my head on my knees.

"I'd just rather save said 'Irish tradition' till the end," I explained, putting air quotes around his term, "It's not like I'm against drinking-" Louis' look was similar to the one my brother would give me when I would lie about hiding his toys when we were little, "- I'm not! I mean, come on, PJ and I met completely shit faced!"

It was utterly, awkwardly silent for about 5 seconds, where everyone slowly turned to look at PJ, before an array of things happened.

Dan was laughing like a hyena holding his sides, but his laughter was the least weirdest thing happening. Chris had started jumping up and down in front of PJ yelling like an idiot while Phil tried to shout questions over at me. Jamie was shouting "I told you so, you owe me ten pounds!" to Sophie, who face was bright redwith laughter as she fished through her pocket. Louis, who was the only one who hadn't looked at PJ when I'd spoken the obviously unknown, was now sitting up and shouting, "what?!" repeatedly between PJ and I. PJ and I were just staring at each other, his look compltely apologetic.

It was a madhouse of too loud reactions and I was completely lost as to why. PJ had told me he explained to all his friends how we met. Had he been... Lying?

"Alright, alright, calm down," PJ bellowed over the rest of them. The group calmed slightly, now giggling amongst themselves like pre-teens, "We weren't shit faced. It was just... casual drinking at a party."

"'Casual drinking at a party'," Dan repeated, bursting into another fit of laughter, "Oh god, what did you guys do!"

"Nothing," PJ exclaimed, grabbing the back of his now red neck, "See this is why I didn't tell you, you all would have assumed we slept together or something."

"Which we didn't," I assured them, uncurling from my position, "He let me borrow his jumper after a couple knocked me over and I spilled my drink on myself."

"Well at least he was telling the truth about the jumper, then" Jamie teased, taking the money Sophie was holding out to him.

"As for not being shit faced," I continued, a devious smile on my face, "That's the biggest load of bullox I've ever heard. Have you not seen the pictures I took from that night? The only one that didn't come out blurry on the first try was the one I took of you acting like a chicken!"

The whole group, me included, broke out into another episode of laughter until the people next to us started banging on the wall and yelling muffled words at us.

"Ok, fine," PJ agreed, a broad smile on his face, "We were a bit messed up. At least I got you home safe!"

"Oh god, I never heard the end of it from Belle," I laughed, seeing a few confused looks from the group, "My roommate. She's like a super fangirl. I didn't even know till PJ came by a few weeks later to grab his jumper. She flipped out, and not to mention made everything really awkward. She almost got us into a car accident over one of your videos, Dan."

We exploded into laughter again before Phil piped up, "So how does she feel about you going on this trip without her?"

"Oh she's really jealous," I chortled, shaking my head, "I've never seen her get so excited before. I love her to death, but there's no way I would have brought her with me. She wouldn't have had enough time to enjoy the trip. She'd be spliting up all her time between passing out and trying to jump your guys' bones!"

Laughter ensued before there was another pounding on the wall and a threat to call the manager if we didn't quiet down.

"Fine, drink, don't drink, I don't care," Louis concluded after we'd all quieted down, "But the night before we leave I am getting you so drunk you won't be able to see straight."

I chuckled and nodded my head, "Whatever you say."

"I do say," he agreed, before standing and stretching, "But unlike you I am not against drinking whenever I'd like. Who's with me?"

Dan, Chris and Jamie jumped up, eager to follow Louis out of the hotel room, leaving Phil, PJ, Sophie and I to stare at each other blankly.

"Well," Sophie began a few minutes later, breaking the silence, "I've got a book that's calling my name, so I'll see you guys tomorrow!"

"Yeah," Phil agreed, standing up slowly, "I should childproof my room for when Dan gets back. Last time he started jumping on the bed, throwing my clothing out of my suit case."

I giggled at the thought of Dan acting like a small child before waving good bye to the two of them. Phil gave me a light hug before he left, whispering an apology for his friend's behavior moments earlier. I told him it wasn't a problem before he headed out the door.

When both Sophie and Phil had gone I crossed the room and sat on the bed next to PJ, pulling my book into my lap.

"Why did you lie," I asked softly, staring at the worn out cover of_ The Catcher and The Rye_, "About how we met?"

"I uh.. it's just...," he stammered, ringing his hands together, "It's not like I didn't want them to know. I'm obviously not ashamed of meeting you. If I was I wouldn't bring you around my house, let alone on this trip. I've had a, uh, well a pretty bad track record when it comes to girls and parties. Most the time when I bump into someone new or, well, when one falls into my lap, it doesn't usually end with me giving them my jumper and then walking them home.

"It's just... You fell into my lap and you looked so confused and so... Familiar. Why did you look so familiar? I could never figure it out; I still haven't figured it out. And, well, my mindset is usually to charm a girl with a couple stories I make up off the top of my head and then... I suppose you can guess. With you, though, I don't know. I'm not going to be cheesy and say I didn't want to charm you back to my place, because my intoxicated mind really did, but I could tell you weren't the kind of girl who'd fall for it.

"I partially lied about why it took me so long to get my jumper back. I did break my phone, but I could have gone back the next day and knocked awkwardly on people's doors till I found you, but I didn't. The details of the night before were vague and I was afraid I'd completely embarassed myself, or done something I'd regret, or, even worse, given you my jumper with the promise that you could keep it.

"I.. I apologize; that was a lot of information. I rabble a rather lot. You deserved the whole truth. I hadn't meant to hide anything."

I sat quiet through his explination, only nodding occassionally. When he finished I looked over at him, chewing my lower lip lightly.

"You didn't answer the question, though. Why did you lie to them?"

"They know how I am at parties," he mumbled, "They would have teased me mercilessly. They would have teased you mercilessly. Constantly asking what we did and if we still were. I just wanted to spare the uncomfortability."

A small smile crept across my face and I wrapped my arms around PJ's neck, pulling him into a loose hug. He wiggled awkwardly before slowly putting his arms around me.

"I'm not much of a hugger," he mumbled into my ear, "What exactly is this for?"

"Being such a good friend to me this year," I whispered back, "You didn't have to lie about how we met. I could have handled the teasing, but it was really nice that you thought about my feelings. And brought me on this trip. And helped me with my projects and studying. Just thank you for being such a good friend to me this year. I don't make friends very often, but I'm glad I met you. Whether we were sober or not."

He hugged me tighter and I sighed contentedly, silently thanking Isabelle and Mark for their friendship advice all those weeks ago.

* * *

**Hello there to the people who have been waiting patiently for this update. I would like you to know that this chapter has been ready for about two days, but I thought it was really bad so I rewrote a couple of parts so it was reader for my beautiful readers.**

**I know the Irish constantly drinking stereotype is probably more of an American thing than a British stereotype so don't yell at me. Just a good way to start this chapter.**

**I've had over a thousand views! (Have I said that already. Maybe. Oops. I'm all over the place)**

**New chapter already in the making so wheeeeeeeeeeeeee.**

**I don't own PJ (even if I had an amazing dream about him the other day) nor his friends or his stuff. Darn.**

**-Boots**


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16: The Last Night in Dublin**

(PJ's POV)

"I need 8 shots of Jager, please!" I called over the growing crowd at the bar. The bartender nodded and began pulling shot glasses out from under the bar.

When most had been filled, Dan popped up next to me and grabbed two from the front, a devilish grin on his face. "Aye, mate," I chuckled, "Could've waited till I'd gotten them all before taking one for you and Phil."

"Oh this one isn't for Phil," he snickered, his grin growing wider, "it's for Tara. I'm hoping she'll be less guarded with a few drinks in her."

"Dan," I warned, grabbing the tray of now finished shots.

"Aww relax, would ya," he dismissed, "I'm not gonna do anything with her. I already know that's your job."

"Dan!" I snapped, but he was already gone, disappearing into the almost full bar. I searched above the sea of people and spotted our table in the way back, dimmer than the rest of the bar and slightly distanced from everyone else. Dan had just arrived at the table and was handing Tara a shot. She searched the bar for a moment before locking eyes with me as I made my way to the table. She gave me a quizical look, to which I shrugged and offered her a half-smile.

By the time I made it to the table, Dan and Tara's shot glasses were already empty. "I'm sorry," Tara apologized over the noise, "Dan was badgering me."

"Don't be," I called back as I passed the rest of the shots around, "Bloke just wants to get you to relax so he can learn your dirty secrets."

"Oy, mate," Dan snapped jokingly, "Don't tell her my master plan!

"Fine, fine" I agreed, "So long as you buy the next round."

"What? Why me?"

"You stole two shots!"

"Tara had one too!"

"Only because you made her! Besides, we're all buying a round before the end of the night, might as well do it early."

Dan pondered this thought for a moment before shrugging, "Good idea. Rather do it now, so I won't get roped into something outrageous later when I won't be sober enough to say no!"

I lifted my glass in agreement before downing it in one gulp and shouting, "Let the night begin!"

And oh did it. 7 shots and two beers later, I was starting to rethink drinking the day before we left. We'd be leaving in the evening, sure, but I'd be nursing a hangover all day.

"Wait, wait, wait," I interrupted Jamie's story for what seemed like the twelth time in two minutes, "You told me you were... You were drawing a new picture. Something about the hair being impossible, mate."

"Right, right," he agreed, taking a long swig of ale, "Anyways, as PJ so kindly pointed out, I was drawing a girl and her hair was being damn near impossible when Louis came blundering in in his underwear screaming about how he'd managed to get his computer to talk back to him. Drunk bastard made me spend thrity mintues listening to it say dirty phrases."

"And I still don't know why I was only in my underwear," Louis adds through a fit of laughter.

I laughed along with him and looked around the group quickly before asking who was supposed to buy the last round of shots.

"Think you were, mate," Dan calls back, trying to wink, but failing in his slightly drunken stupor. "We all know I bought the first round," I shot back, leaning up against the table. I tried to mentally count who went, but gave up after the third failed attempt. "I think it's Chris."

"No mate," he disagreed, shaking his head, " I bought a round after Sophie."

"Maybe it was Jamie," Tara piped up. She had been quiet for most the night, resting her head on Phil's shoulder. "That's probably why he keeps telling us all of these ridiculous stories."

"Hey, yeah," Phil perked up, looking over at Jamie's guilty face, "Trying to get out of shots?"

"_And_ steal my title," I grumbled, folding my arms over my chest.

We all laughed before Jamie ordered us a round and I ordered another beer.

Two more beers later, I decided to order us an extra round. I cheered to a safe flight home for all of us before we all knocked back it back. We'd saylt around for a while just telling old childhood stories as the bar slowly started to drain of people.

Around 2:00 in the morning I felt a pull at my jacket sleeve and looked over to see Tara. I sat puzzled for a moment; I hadn't even seen her get up from her spot next to Phil.

"What's up," I asked her, leaning closer to her so I didn't interupt Chris' story I'd probably heard nine times already.

"I want to go home, I'm getting really tired," she slurred. "Need me to take you home again," I teased. "Haha," she sighed, crossing her arms over her chest, "I'll just walk back alone. "Oh no," I shot back, standing up quickly to block her path.

That's when the full effect of my drunkeness hit me. The whole room spun and I almost doubled over right then and lost all the contents in my stomach. I took a couple moments to collect myself before turning back to the group and bidding them goodbye.

"Have fun, you two," Louis called.

"But not too much fun," Sophie added.

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do," Chris chided.

"Exactly what wouldn't you do, Chris," Dan hooted, making all of us burst into laughter.

Tara pulled on my sleeve again and I put a healthy tip down on the table for the waitress that'd been serving us all night. I then turned towards the exit and wrapped an arm around Tara's waist before pulling her to the front door.

Once outside, the chilly Dublin air helped me sober up just enough to help guide us to our hotel two blocks down. Tara held my arm to keep herself steady, but after about a block and a half, and one too many almost falls, she asked if she could get a ride on my back.

'_Probably not the best idea, but what the hell_,' I thought, before nodding and crouching down slightly to let her on. My thinking proved to be right; as soon as she jumped on, I lost my balance and we both spilled onto the concrete. We laid there for a moment, just giggling, before I stood up and offered her a hand. Once we were both up we once again began the trek back to the hotel.

Upon reaching the front doors, Tara seemed to be revitalized with an energy that I hadn't seen in her all night. "Race you to the room," she called over her shoulder before taking off up the stairs, taking them two at a time. I laughed and followed after her, trying hard not to lose my balance and tumble back down into the lobby.

She'd made it to the room faster than me and upon reaching the door, she barely squeezed through it before closing it in my face. I shook my head, chuckling, and took a few seconds to dig the key out of my pocket and put it in the lock.

I swung the door open to find Tara digging excitedly through my suitcase. "What're you-" I started, before she jumped up with a bundle in her hands and took off for the bathroom before I could finish my sentence, locking herself in. Letting out an amused sigh, I crossed the room and sat in one of the chairs, waiting for her to return.

I'd been half paying attention to a news article I was reading on my phone when the bathroom door finally opened.

Tara stepped out in my white and tan jumper. 'Ah, so that's what she took,' I thought to myself, smiling at her softly. It struck me then that she didn't appear to be wearing anything else. The jumper cut off above the middle of her thigh and from there down it was just her soft, pale legs.

Shit.

I cleared my throat loudly, "T-tara.. uh-" "Oh relax," she shushed, as if reading my mind, "I'm wearing shorts, you loon." And to prove her point she pulled up the jumper to reveal a pair of black shorts. "Jeez, you really are short," I snickered, slightly relieved.

She grimaced and an awkward silence fell over us like a dense fog. I looked at her for a couple seconds more before looking back down at the news article that I couldn't remember anything about now.

I'd barely heard Tara's words a few minutes later. "Huh?" I asked, turning my attention to her. "Tell me a story," she repeated in a soft voice, her eyes wide and curious like they'd been the morning after our trip to the bogs. My stomach tightened slightly and I tried to ignored it, averting my sight away from her.

"Alright," I cleared my throat and set my phone down on the small table, "There was once this... Orc-"

"Named Morcon" Tara interrupted, taking me by surprise. I looked up at her, quirking an eyebrow, before shrugging and looking away again. I closed my eyes and leaned back in the chair, continuing, "Yes, an orc named Morcon. He lived in a cave in a mountian-"

"With a pet canary-"

"With a pet canary named... Err... Mildred after his great aunt that he hated."

"And he fed Mildred twice a day," she added, her voice a bit hushed. I wanted to open my eyes and see if the curious glint in her eyes was still there, but didn't risk. Something about that look, the same look she gets when she's taking pictures, it just throws all the logic I have out the window. I focused again on the story.

"Except one day he fed her three times. Which wouldn't usually be such a big deal, except he feeds her a magic blend of frog's breath, um cinnamon and mushroom stems so that she has the most beautiful singing voice a canary has ever had."

"And?"

"And... Well, since he fed her three times instead of two, the canary lost her voice altogether; she couldn't utter even the simplest of notes. Morcon tried for days after to get Mildred's voice back, but he knew the only way to get it back would be to visit the great wizard, Quig, in his hut far away. So he set out on the long journey and made it there in three days time because he'd had no road troubles... Umm..."

I stopped for a moment to think up the next part of the story when I felt it. The softest of breath hitting my face. Before I could open my eyes or even ask what she was doing, I felt Tara's lips press lightly against mine. The chair shifted some as she sat down on my legs and pushed her lips a bit harder against mine. My whole body felt frozen, like the dream I'd had the day we left. '_That's it_,' I told myself, '_It's a dream. It has to be. I closed my eyes and fell asleep telling the story. I need to wake up.'_

She pulled back then and my eyes shot open, looking up at her. Just like the last dream her back hair dimmed out the light. Her eyes were wide and she looked at me like she'd just been shot.

"What did the wizard tell Morcon," she asked in a voice so soft I wouldn't have heard it if our face hadn't been right next to each other.

"He uh... He gave Morcon the antidote and.. and the canary sang so beautifully that it helped the orc.. helped-." I stopped. It hit me so hard I thought my heart skipped a beat. She'd asked about the story. I hadn't fallen asleep. This wasn't a dream. It was actually happening. She actually kissed me.

"Tara, why-"

"Finish the story," she begged, "Please?"

"He uh .. the orc found a beautiful wife, well, beautiful by an orc's standards and lived happily ever... After?"

She groaned and leaned back a little so that I could see her in the light. "That was a horrible story," she complained, "I thought you were a professional."

"I am," I snapped protectively before calming down, "Just a little confused as to why you... Well, why you kissed me."

She bit her lip, directing her gaze to the wall to the left of her. "I don't know," she spoke at last, "I don't usually. Not even when I'm drunk. But it just... It felt right. I know we've never really talked about it. I mean, anytime our friends bring it up we're trying to convince them there's nothing. I just. I was thinking about it and I wanted to know if I felt anything. And... Bloody hell I never even thought about how you felt. For all I know you could be talking to someone. I mean, we've never talked about it and I could have just ruined our friendship."

I grabbed Tara by the hands and tried to calm her before she burst into a drunken fit. "Hey, hey," I tried, "Don't freak out, Tara. It's nothing to beat yourself up over. Shh. Don't cry. There's no need to cry. Focus. Look at me. Okay. Deep breath. Now tell me something. You said you wanted to know if you felt something, yeah? Well, did you?"

"What," she gasped; I'd taken her completely by surprise, it seemed, " I mean, I uh... I didn't really... I was too busy thinking about how I'd just ruined our relationship. I didn't..."

"Okay," I stated, thinking for a moment. Wrapping my arms around her waist, I pulled her into me and kissed her softly on the lips before pulling away. "How about that time?"

Instead of looking at me, she rested her head against the back of the chair and nodded. "Yeah," she whispered into my ear, sending chills down my smile, "I liked that."

I closed my eyes and turned my head slightly to the right, ghosting my lips up her jawline before nipping at it softly. "What about this," I asked as I kissed the juncture where her jawline met her neck, "Do you like this?"

She let out a soft breath before whispering a mute yes. An amused smile pulled at my lips and I let them trail their way down her neck to the groove of her shoulder, stopping at her collar bone. I pulled the jumper down some before setting my lips down on the defined bone "And this," I mumbled softly before biting down playfully.

Tara let out a moan then that reverberated off my eardrum and unleashed an animalistic instict I didn't know I had. I bit down on the soft spot just between her collar bone and shoulder, sucking a large purple welt into the pale skin. Tara squirmed above me and pulled at my jacket until the zipper reached the bottom. slightly and helped her take the jacket off, discarding it carelessly on the ground next to us.

Looking up at Tara's face, she looked slightly peeved as she stared at my shirt. "Always with the buttons," she muttered before leaning down and kissing me, her fingers fumbling with the button at my throat. Once undone, she began on the next one, moving her face down to my neck where she peppered it with soft kisses and marks that made my breath catch in my throat.

When she reached the bottom she ran her hands back up my chest, making gooseflesh appear on my arms. I pulled my shirt off, before gathering Tara up into my arms and turning off the side lamp. I carried her over to my bed, trying painfully hard not to let the drunken dizziness topple us both over again.

"That story really was crap" she whispered when I set her; I could just make out the curious glint in her eyes in the moonlight, "Good thing I like this one better."

I grinned before dipping down into a passionate kiss, that made a wave another wave of dizziness wash over me.

* * *

**EDIT: OOPS REALIZED I MISSED SOMETHING. THAT'S WHAT I GET FOR BEING IN A RUSH!**

**Hey guys, I know it's been a while.**

**So this chapter is pretty detailed. I'm not one for writing super graphic smut though. So you'll never get that on any of my stories. So if you were ever hoping for that you should just banish the though now. If it is too detailed for your liking with what I wrote I apologize sincerely. I am not much one for relationships and such, (at least right now) just really good at writing them.**

**How is everybody's summer break going? I am super extra nervous-scared for college. I wish everybody luck with their next school year (if they are going into one) or whatever lies ahead!**

**I got the Jamie story idea from his instagram since I follow him. If you don't you should totally check him out, his drawings are incredible ( jamievstheuniverse)**

**Nobody is mine and you can never say they are (and be telling the truth)**

**Love, Boots~**


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17: Mistakes**

(Tara's POV)

_Thump, thump, thump._

_Thump, thump, thump._

I groaned as I was slowly brought out of sleep by a heavy pounding at the door. Bringing my hand up to my face, I rubbed one of my eyes and yawned. There was another knock at the door and then Louis was shouting, "Oy, you two better not be asleep, it's three in the afternoon!"

I sat up then. '_Three, how was that possible?' _I groaned, but the sudden chill of air made me forget the thought. I looked down and realized I was naked with someone's arm stretched across my torso. Looking over at the sleeping form, PJ's sleeping face greeted me, making me want to shriek. Gasping for breath, the thoughts of last night flooded my memory and made my stomach churn uncomfortably. '_No,' _I internally screamed, _'This isn't possible. How could this happen?' _I rested my head in my hands, trying to take deeper breaths, but that only made the churning in my stomach worse.

"Don't think you can ignore me, I'm not leaving until someone opens this door," Louis called again, banging on the door once more. PJ's phone began to vibrate then on the table across the room. I pushed PJ's arm off of me and hopped out of bed, picking up the jumper that was lying in a heap on the ground. Throwing it on, I scuttled over to my suitcase and pulled on a pair of underwear and then a pair of leggings that were messily thrown in. Taking a deep breath, I tried to compose myself as I walked towards the door. I threw it open just as Louis was about to knock again. "Can I help you," I asked casually.

"Yeah, we're leaving in three hours and neither of you will pick up the phone or answer the door. "I answered the door," I countered, yawning, "And I'm not going to apologize for sleeping the day away, it's not like we had plans to do anything anyways." "Where's PJ?" "Sleeping." "Well this is his wake up call then."

"Louis, don't," I snapped as he pushed past me and began loudly calling PJ's name. "Sleeping beauty, it's time to get up," He teased as he ripped the blanket off the sleeping boy, exposing his unclothed body. "Jesus, man," he gasped as I squeaked and threw my hands over my eyes, "You sleep in the nude when there's a lady present? How disrespectful."

This seemed to wake PJ up, because I could hear him say, "Shit," and then the sound of the blankets moving. I moved my hands away from my eyes to see PJ sitting upright and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. Something had caught Louis' attention enough to quit his teasing. Following his gaze, my eyes settled on the untouched bed, still made up by the maid from yesterday.

My eyes grew wide and I looked back at PJ who was looking back confused. Louis then turned back to us, disbelief plastered on his face. "No," he whispered. "What," PJ responded. Louis looked from PJ to I to the clean bed and it seemed to click inside PJ's head, "No, man. We didn't-" He paused as if he didn't know what to say next, and that was enough assurance for Louis. "Oh, man, you did, didn't you!" he laughed.

My face grew bright red and I bit my lip, embarrassed. "I mean, I know I give you shit, but I didn't think you were **actually **banging her." "It's not like that," PJ tried, but Louis wouldn't have it. "So are you guys like a thing or are you just hooking up?" he laughed, "Oh man, I knew there was a reason you wanted to share a room with her so bad." I felt tears pricking the corners of my eyes and I made a dash for the door, throwing it open with enough time to hear PJ shout, "Louis, man, stop. Tara! Tara, wait!"

I ran down the hall and began furiously beating on Dan and Phil's door. Dan opened the door seconds later, "Where's the fire," he asked sarcastically, but I pushed past him roughly, found Phil lounging on his bed, and fell into him, sobbing quietly.

"Whoa, Tara, what's wrong," Phil gasped, voice full of concern as he pulled me into his arms and held me tightly. I felt the bed shift and Dan began patting my back awkwardly, as if it was the only form of comfort he knew. I whimpered softly into Phil's shirt, unable to form words as I cried out my embarrassment and frustration.

There was a rushed knock in the door a minute later and as Dan moved away from the bed to answer it, I picked up my head and growled, "Don't let Ben in." They both started at me for a moment, before Dan broke the tension by asking, "Who's Ben?" I stared at him for a moment, aware of the mistake I had made. Tears were still making tracks down my cheeks, but I'd found the strength to try to hold them back now. "P...PJ. I meant PJ," I whispered in a broken voice, breaking out of Phil's embrace and going to the door. Neither really said anything as I opened it and ducked past PJ, walking back to our room.

The tears had completely stopped by the time I reached the room and waited for PJ to open the door. He was trying to talk, apologizing about Louis and about that wasn't how it should have gone and that we should really just talk about it. When he opened the door, Louis was gone and the room looked disheveled. There were random articles of clothing tossed about and only one of the beds looked used at all. Anyone with half a brain could figure out what had happened. I felt numb and tense; I still couldn't believe I'd called him Ben.

PJ was still talking, but I'd stopped listening a long time ago. I just sat down on the end of the bed and texted Belle to pick me up from the airport; I'd pay for the gas. Everything about this trip had gone so smoothly and I managed to turn it on its head in one night. PJ was babbling on like a stuck record player. Dan and Phil and Louis would be questioning him as soon as they were given the opportunity to. Knowing them Chris wouldn't be far behind, and being one of his closest friends, he'd be twice as hard to fend off. Jamie would find out simply because he lives with PJ, if Louis hadn't already gone and told him and Sophie in an explosion of words and bewilderment.

That left me. Sitting on the edge of a hotel bed, wondering why I'd called him Ben and why I'd even slept with him in the first place. My cheeks heated up just at the thought of what I'd said last night. The idea that I'd ever thought of PJ as anything more than a friend had never even crossed my mind before then. Before I'd stepped out of the bathroom and saw him staring at his phone with a drunken, dazed look. Suddenly, it was as if I wanted to be one of those girls he'd managed to sweep off their feet with the right look and a silly story.

It had been as if I was looking at him completely wrong the entire time I knew him. The way his messy hair curled completely right no matter how he slept, the odd jumpers and t-shirts he'd put on and seem just a little too comfortable in, the way he genuinely smiled when he was making up a story off the top of my head. All of it seemed different in a strikingly attractive way. I could blame it on the alcohol or the fact that I wasn't thinkin, but deep down I knew it was because last night I had admitted to myself that I was attracted to PJ Liguori and had been beyond myself when the attraction was proven mutual.

I looked over at PJ then, the warm feeling in my stomach making me feel ashamed rather than happy. He was still going on and by now I don't think even he knew what he was saying. A knot grew in the pit of my stomach and I knew what I had to do, no matter how heart-wrenching the though was. "PJ," I spoke, making him stop for a moment and just stare at me, "There's no need to apologize. It was a mistake, I know." "Oh, I am so glad you. I know what Louis said was dumb and… what?" he stopped, registering fully what I said, "No Tara. I never said it was a mistake-" "You didn't have to," I went on, steeling myself, "You don't have to tell me for me to know. It shouldn't have happened. We weren't really thinking and we screwed up."

"Weren't thinking, Tara what are you saying," PJ begged, grabbing my face to make me look into his eyes, "Last night… Last night never would have happened under any other circumstances, I know. But you said something last night. Something I never would have thought about had you not brought it up. You told me that you were so busy denying that we were anything more than friends to everyone else that you never stopped to think that maybe we could have been. And I hadn't either. And I suppose I really didn't last night either- I was just so caught up in the moment-, but I know that it has to have been something more than friendship because I wouldn't have let anything happen if it weren't."

Tears were streaming down my face by this point and I tore PJ's hands away from me. Panic had begun to spread through my body as memories plagued my mind and Ben's caring face began to coincide with PJ's. I stood up and moved to my suitcase, slowly putting order to the way my clothes were thrown in as I sobbed silently. "Tara," PJ tried, coming up behind me, grabbing at my waist. "Don't touch me," I practically yelled, cringing away from him, "Do not touch me."

It hurt. It hurt so much, but I wouldn't allow myself to believe his words. Not again. I didn't want to say the words that came next, but they tumbled out of my mouth before I could stop them. "It…" I took a deep, ragged breath and tried again, "It meant nothing to me. I don't feel anything for you. I have **_never _**felt anything for you. I lied because I wanted to see how easy you were. You're so gullible, PJ, to think that I would ever like **_you._**"

There was a long pause; the entire mood in the room changed, clung heavily in the air. "Oh," PJ uttered what seemed like an eternity later and I could feel my heart shatter. More tears poured from my eyes, but I refused to let him see them. I heard the door to the room after what seemed like another eternity and exhaled a long, shaky breath. I barely managed to zip up my suitcase before I crumpled to the ground, shaking with silent sobs. My entire body shook as I tried to imagine the look on PJ's face as I had spoke the most venomous words I could think of.

After what seemed like hours, I pulled myself together and headed to the bathroom. Splashing water on my face, I tried to clean myself up and get ready to leave. I waited at the end of the bed once all of my things were put in my suitcase, dreading as the time counted down to go.

It was awkward, as I knew it would be, but not because everyone knew what happened. Actually, it seemed Louis had yet to breathe a word of the news he'd found out, but everyone knew something was wrong. PJ looked distraught, his hair more frazzled than I'd ever seen it and he refused to look at anything, but the ground. My eyes were still ringed with red and I couldn't make eye contact with anyone with more than a few seconds. We didn't even get into the same cars and while everyone would try making conversation while we waited in the airport, neither PJ nor I would say anything.

When I got off the plane, I instantly saw Belle's car parked a bit down the terminal. I muttered a goodbye loud enough to make some look up and ask where I was going, but soon faltered when I continued walking without an answer. I put my suit case in the back and climbed into the passenger's seat wordlessly, Belle's excitement dying instantly when she saw my face.

"Tara, what's wrong," she began as we drove away from the airport. I just continued to stare at the road, a lump beginning to form in my throat. "Was it PJ?" she tried again, making the knot clench and a tear escape down my cheek, "Did he do something to you?"

More tears escaped and I gasped for air before I began to speak. "I… I slept with P-PJ," I sobbed, trying hard not to wail in the small car. "How in the bloody hell is that bad," she exclaimed, taking turns looking at me and the road. "I… Belle I called him Ben. I fucking **_called him Ben._** I just couldn't stop thinking about it. It was just so much the same. And I… I…" "Oh no." Belle let out a long breath before speaking again, "Tara, you know he's not like Ben. _I _know he's not like Ben. And I know you're scared because it's been so long and… Well you have a right to be. But he isn't Ben…" There was another long pause before she spoke again, "Tara… What did you say to PJ?"

I was quite for a long time after that, but I could feel her hard glare every time we halted at a light. Sighing quietly, I finally spoke, "I told him I just wanted to see how easy he was to sleep with and that it was ridiculous to think that I would ever like him…" Belle let out a loud groan and I broke into another wave of tears. "I'm scared, Belle," I cried, clutching my sides tightly. "I know you are, Tara," she sighed, "I know you are."

* * *

**HEEEEEEEEY GUYS.**

**I hope you don't all hate me for that seemingly never ending break I took. I know it was long and I don't think there is enough words in the English language to express how sorry I am. I made this chapter super extra long, though. So that should soothe your angry soul at least a little bit.**

**So here's the next chapter and I am sure you all hate that the update I give you after so many days and weeks and months of waiting probably makes you want to tear your heart out and chuck it at the nearest wall! To which I will not apologize because it will only make the next chapter even better!**

**I promise the next update will not take nearly as long, but it may be a moment or two. I have recently started college and I am settling in. So I can't promise when it will be up, but I can promise it won't be as long as this last hiatus.**

**The biggest problem was that I couldn't figure out how I wanted to write the chapter. I actually believe I rewrote this entire chapter a total of six times. Nothing seemed to work the way I wanted it to. But I am really, really happy with this chapter (even if I think it is the crappiest piece of writing I've done in a long time).**

**I am actually super tired because it is the wee hours of the morning where I am and I should really be getting some sleep.**

**Soooooooooo, my question for you all is who you think Ben is? What do you think his story is and why is he so important to Tara? I really want to know what you guys think and see if any of you guess it spot on! Leave your answer in a review!**

**As always, PJ is not mine. Nor are his beautifully mischievous friends.**

**I'm sorry and I love you,**

**-Boots**


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18: Ben**

(PJ's POV)

They were staring at me, mockingly. Boxes with her delicate handwriting sprawled across them. Full of her bedding and camera equipment and knick knacks that she'd once had on the shelves in her dorm. Just staring at me from across the room, unsettling me as I sat on my bed and thought about what happened.

_"It…" She paused for a moment, shoulders heaving as she tried to control her tears, "It meant nothing to me. I don't feel anything for you. I have never felt anything for you. I lied because I wanted to see how easy you were. You're so gullible PJ, to think that I would ever like _**you**_." _

_I stared at her back for a moment; the words bit into me like a snake and I could almost feel the venom pumping through my veins. My stomach churned and my throat constricted; I had to get away before I threw up. I headed for the door as fast as I could, throwing it open and looking around the hallway. I didn't know where to go, but anywhere was better than the place I'd just left._

'I have never felt anything for you,' _her words swirled through my head like a tornado, making it hard to see straight, _'You're so gullible PJ…"

_I leaned up against the wall. I was far too hung over to be dealing with this. My head thumped painfully and I could almost feel the bile rising in my throat._

_"PJ," Dan's voice broke through the murky haze and brought me back to reality. He was standing in front of me, shifting down to look me in the eyes, "PJ, mate, are you ok? Why don't you come to my room, I'll get you some water."_

_I nodded and leaned against Dan as he quided me to his room and sat me on the edge of the bed. "Guess I drank a little too much last night, huh," I chuckled tightly, staring down at my hands. There was an awkward pause where Dan stood staring at me before he disappeared, returning moments later with a cup of water. I drank it down greedily, before looking up at Dan, whose gaze seemed a little too worried. "Hey man, I'll be fine," I confirmed, "It's not like I have alcohol poisoning or anything."_

_"PJ, there's something I should tell you," Dan began, taking a deep breath…_

My phone vibrated next to me and I was brought out of my daze. Looking down, Jamie's name glared back, alerting me that he had texted me something.

I sighed and unlocked the screen, wishing he'd just come talk to me. He hadn't said two words to me since we got home. I know I looked pretty ragged, but it didn't mean I wanted every conversation we had to be over a phone when we literally slept ten feet from each other.

**'Isabelle's here. She wants to pick up Tara's stuff.' **

I swallowed hard and texted that I'd be out in a second to get her. Maybe she could explain it to me.

_"Who?" I asked, beyond confused._

_"Ben," he repeated, sitting on the opposite bed, "She called you Ben. Shouted it, rather. When you knocked on the door. She told me not to open the door for Ben. Know what that could mean?""Haven't a clue," I grumbled, finishing my second cup of water._

_"You should talk to her about it," he tried, giving me a weak smile._

_"I… I can't," I sighed, looking down at the ground. "I can't even be in the same room as her right now. I couldn't even… look at her if I tried."_

_"What happened," Dan pushed, "I mean, she flew in here like a bat out of hell. Clung to Phil for dear life."_

_I forced out a laugh, "Phil. Of course she went to Phil." Dan lifted an eyebrow, "Jealously doesn't look good on you, mate."I shot him a cold glare before letting out a shaky breath. "Ben, huh?" "Yeah, Ben," he agreed, shrugging._

I travelled out into the main room, stopping when I caught sight of Isabelle. Her eyes locked on mine and I swallowed hard. There was no excitement or joy; Just a cold, nuetral stare that looked through me. "Isabelle," I tried. "Save it," she spat, walking past me to my room.

I followed her and slammed the door shut, taking a deep breath to calm my anger. "PJ, please," she groaned, "Don't make this harder than it already is." "Is she here," I tried again, my throat suddenly feeling too dry. "No," she mumbled, picking up one of the boxes, "She stayed at the house with Mark." "Mark," I questioned, my brain not putting a face to the name. "He's a good friend of ours," she grumbled, "I'm sure she's talked about him." I nodded; she had mentioned him a few times, but it didn't really matter, my thoughts were somewhere else.

"Who's Ben," I asked before my brain could stop me. Isabelle froze over the box, muscles tensing up. "So you know," She sighed, letting go of the box and standing upright. "Of course I know," I seethed, "Who is he?" "Whoa there, killer," she began, lifting her arms up in surrender, "I'm not the who banged you and left, don't shoot venom at me."

I cringed at her words before collapsing down on the bed, defeated. "I just…" I groaned, putting my head in my hands, "I just don't know how I could have been so stupid. To think that she-" "Hey now," Isabelle interrupted, sitting next to me, "Don't start with that. It's not like that at all. She's… She's just scared. You don't understand."

"Then make me understand," I growled, snapping my head up to look at her. She drew back some and I tried to relax, whispering an apology. Isabelle stared at me for a moment, her hard gaze making me uncomfortable. Finally she spoke, "You need to remember, Tara is not a weak person. She is a very, very strong girl. She's independent because she wants to be, not because she has to. But even the strongest people have their weaknesses PJ. Even the most independent people fall prey to love.

"It was freshman year. Her and I had met through a foundation class we shared and instantly hit it off. She was a lot the same, but at the same time very different. She wasn't as closed off. I mean she was pretty closed off, but not nearly as closed off as she is now. Everyone was partnered up for a project and that's when she met him. Ben, I mean. He was nice, charming. Probably would have made a move myself had Tara not shown interest right off the bat. They were pretty good for each other. I won't say perfect, they definitely had their differences. He was pretty public about that kind of thing; Tara wasn't. She preferred to keep her life behind closed doors. But Ben brought her out of her shell. She started going out more, found a clique of people to hang out with, wasn't as afraid to speak her mind.

"They were mad for each other. Literally. He was all she would talk about. She spent an insane amount of time on campus because he lived here. He'd often stay her entire shift at her job, even if he only got to say two words to her the entire time. He would spend almost every weekend at her house. I'll admit it was a bit irksome, but from what I knew about her past, this was the happiest she'd ever been. I couldn't have been more excited for her. When I started dating Thomas she talked on and on about all the adorable double dates we would go on. As cliché as it sounds, I didn't think it could get any more perfect.

"Suppose it always works like that, doesn't it? Everything is as good as gold and so something has to go terribly, terribly wrong. They went to a party one night. Typical Uni party, nothing really special. Thomas was ill so I stayed with him instead. I guess… I guess they got really hammered. They didn't even leave the party. He pulled her into a room and things got intense. I think you see where I'm going here. Ok. This wasn't unusal for them, they'd been dating for months. But that night. Well, he didn't wear protection. That's when it changed. She woke up that morning half naked in that room, alone. He'd left her a text that said that she needed to take a morning after pill or he'd leave her. He wouldn't pick up the phone. Wouldn't answer the door. She was a wreck. Ended up in my room crying for hours on end.

"I stayed at her house with her that weekend when he showed up at her door, asking if she took the pill. I couldn't even stay in the same room as him. She stayed with him, though. She loved him. She didn't want him to leave her over a simple mistake. He was different after that, though. He was cold to her. They didn't go out. They didn't even really talk much. It was uncomfortable to be around to say the least. She looked drained emotionally, trying to put more into their relationship because he refused to.

"Two weeks later she took a pregnancy test and it came back positive. He found it in the trash a few days later and dumped her there and then. Wouldn't even hear an explination. It turned out to be wrong, of course. She'd taken two more and they came back negative and her period even came on time. But he didn't care. She fell into a serious depression after that. Everytime she saw him she called me sobbing. It broke my heart. It took her months to recover and, obviously, there's still a part of her that isn't entirely over it."

I'd listen in silence, my anger slowly bubbling into a burning rage. I'd figured it out. I knew why she'd been so familiar when I met her. It finally made sense.

I knew Ben.

I didn't know him very well. I met him through some mutual Uni friends at a party the beginning of sophmore year and we talked a few times after that when we crossed paths on campus. He'd been really excited when he'd gotten a girlfriend, told me there was "nobody like her that he'd ever met." I told him I was happy for him. He said I needed to meet her. But that wasn't the problem.

I'd been at that party. The one Isabelle had spoken of. I'd seen him with his arm around Tara's waist, smiling brightly, drunken lust in his eyes. She was different then, Isabelle was right. So vibrant and alive. She glowed with an innocent excitement. When she'd slipped away to talk to a classmate we'd started talking. He'd mentioned how he was definitely going to get lucky tonight, but I hadn't thought anything of it. She was his girlfriend, why would I? But if I had known he wasn't being smart I would have pulled him aside and… I don't know. Helped him? He wasn't a bad guy. We only stopped talking because he fell in with a different crowd of people.

I looked over at Isabelle, who was staring at Tara's boxes. "How is she," I asked after a long pause. "Pretty frazzled. The night I picked her up she saw the hickey you left on her collar bone and broke into a frenzy. She started pounding her fists into the bathroom counter and screaming. Good thing my parents weren't home or they'd have thought she was shot... She's really scared PJ. She hasn't been remotely interested in someone since Ben.

"Don't blame yourself. You've treated her so well. I know you aren't like him. _She _knows you're not like him. She just can't bring herself to get passed what happened. I think she needs you. But you need to give her space, she won't be able to handle the stress of you trying to push your way into her life. She needs to get her wits back, first."

I nodded slowly, taking in a deep breath, "I really wish I'd known." "The only people that know are the people who were there when it happened. Her mom doesn't even know the whole story."

There was another long pause before Isabelle stood up and moved back towards the boxes. "She'll come to you," she affirmed, picking up the box again, "Just give her time."

"I will," I promised, setting my jaw, "I will."

* * *

**Hello there! Told you I wouldn't take another month to get you a chapter!**

**I know I put you guys in a bad position last chapter and left you on a cliff hanger, but hey, I'm sure this will help out a little!**

**Don't get mad, but I plan on ending this story soon. Like a few chapters soon. Hey! I said don't get mad! This is my first fan fic and I'd say I did pretty darn good! I'm not sure when I'm going to make another one or what it is going to be about, but I'm sure inspiration will strike me sooner or later.**

**I love each and every one of you and I really have been so grateful of your feedback, I never thought people would even care about this fic. I'd also like to mention that more people from the UK read this than people from the US (which kind of makes me happy. Am I doing good with the whole British aspect? Or is it incredibly American to you?)**

**Soooooo PJ is not mine, he's just an incredible inspiration to me.**

**-Boots**


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